(Near) Death by Chocolate December 2, 2006
Posted by Jen in : Journal , add a commentWhile toiling away at work yesterday, the fire alarms began to wail. Emergency! Take action!! The restaurant was emptied of old dears toothlessly chomping through their Caeser Salads, the car park barriers raised for the easy entry of fire engines… and me, faffing about while two ageing colleagues - think Hinge & Brackett in black suits - moaned and groaned about it raining and looking for their umbrellas.
I should have been cross and told them to hurry along. Easier said than done. I had, just moments before, piggishly succumbed to a stray bag of choccy miniatures. I could imagine the tear stained faces of my nearest and dearest as they wondered what had become of me. Nobody would know it had been me, perishing in the fiery flames of department store hell, plastic ladies melting around me as I lay trapped and helpless.
A Quincy-type coroner would announce, “the victim is still unidentifiable. Dental record matching was the last hope but, sadly, the victim died with her teeth fused together with what looks like Cadbury’s Fudge. That’ll learn ‘er.”
