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Thoughts that Linger January 4, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 8 comments

Reading through some of my notes for The Novel, I found some ponderings on loneliness. It’s kind of a latent theme I guess. I’ve been lonely myself, of course. When the babies were, well, babies. The two times in my adult life I’ve moved from the relative security of the rock. Jersey was claustrophobic. Being lonely is more so.

I was talking recently to Gill, a friend of a friend. She is in her late 60s. She’s great: irreverent, clever, funny, vibrant, musical… but, when she looks in the mirror, she sees “fat, hair falling out, body in decline…”. And she has immense regret at “letting life slip by”. How can that be? Why doesn’t she see what others see?

In one of the awful ‘fiction for losers’ mags I read now and then (for research purposes, I hasten to add) I found a Personals section. One lady was “looking for friendship – for trips to the theatre, cinema and other more mundane things such as a chat over a cup of tea.”

How do people become so lonely? And will my novel become as morose I feel at this moment if I delve into the concept?

“Never, ever wish your life away.”

Haunting me, that is. I think it might be important?

Writing Preparation January 3, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 3 comments

With the boys away again this week, this is my chance to make the most of a few quiet evenings to get cracking and bump up the old word count. It’s the preparation that takes the time, I find: essential cleaning of kitchen floor, loading of washing machine, searching for the right trousers to write in and deciding what to drink during the writing process.

It’s madness – I mean, I do actually enjoy writing. I love it. It’s just the getting going that I hate.

My characters must be so cross with me – they cram themselves into my thoughts as I drive, bursting my mind with their chatter, what they want to wear, the things they think about each other but are not yet close enough to reveal. I worry sometimes. I can manage a whole half-hour drive to work without paying any attention whatsoever to the road. Instead, I’m consumed by imaginary conversations between people who don’t even exist. I’m clearly insane. Not a very good driver, either, come to think of it.

gin and tonicAnyway, I’m wrapped up in my blanket, G&T at the ready and About to Write My Novel. I know, I’m supposed to have given up drinking. But I gave up yesterday and came out in an itchy rash. I’m allergic to giving up, it would seem. Who’d have thought??! Sod detox. Retox rocks.

Chin chin!

New Year Revolution January 1, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 2 comments

Yes, I know it’s supposed to be ‘resolution’. But there are so many things I need and want to do this year, my entire life is simply going to have to change.

I’ve dithered for days over various plans. The options were as follows:

1. Do another year of my OU degree. This year’s module would be Level 2 French. But it’s bloomin ages since I did the first one and I’m exruciatingly rusty. Hmmmmmm…

2. Write my novel. It sort of got started during the A215 OU course but has sputtered and wheezed along since then. I promised myself that, if I scraped a distinction for the course, I would carry on. It would be a sign. I got a distinction… sooooo…

3. Do both. Yeah, right. With a job and two children? Either that or take up DIY brain surgery. Equally painful.

4. Write novel. Obtain books and re-do Level 1 French course myself to improve without stress. Use money I would have spent on course (nearly £1,000) on holiday in France rather than spending yet another summer with my head buried in books. And I can finish novel surrounded by honey-coloured houses with blistered blue shutters. And wine.

Yes, Option 4 it is then. The deciding factor was this word-count race between the rather marvelous Kate Harrison and Lucy Diamond.

Write novel. Learn French. Learn to play guitar a bit. Cook proper food more often. Stop being fat. Cut out mid-week lush-like tendencies. Get new job. BE ORGANISED!

Maybe the lushly habits could continue? Best not to overdo it, eh?

HAPPY NEW YEAR