Oh Deer March 30, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal , trackbackHaving finally recovered from my recent corporate escapades (standing up, talking and holding my tummy in all at once) it was time for a reality check last night.
Thursday night rehearsal with the Orchestra of the Undead. I do so look forward to it, as you can only imagine.
I zoomed along, wondering whether a few hours’ blowing would transform my slightly sore throat into a touch of the Mariellas. Oh yes. Tomorrow I would be dead sexy. On the phone, at least.
KER-POW (as they say in Batman). A deer the size of an elephant leapt out of a hedge at 100 miles per hour. I jammed on the brakes. I shouted. ‘Get out of the way!’ I gave a little scream. I am a girl, after all. The deer did not understand.
Oh, it was horrible, horrible. I could see it in my mirror, twitching, lying in a shape it shouldn’t be.
Some men got out of their jeep thing. They attended to the deer which I had broken. I hoped they wouldn’t shoot it in front of me. The deer scowled and ran off. It wasn’t broken after all. Just a bit pissed off.
My car, on the other hand, is extremely broken. Smashed lights and the driver side so caved in that I cannot even open the door. More Mechanical Misery. Oh Deer.
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Cripes. My heart was banging loud enough when I ran over a bird last week. I had to get out the car and check it wasn’t stuck underneath (visions of it flying out into my face!). But this was nothing compared to hitting a deer… Hope you are ok!
Blimey: terrifying. I hope you’re okay. They’re huge creatures, but really, you’d not think the car would come off worse than the deer, would you?
In the meantime, I think you should take big quantities of chocolate for the shock. It’s well recognised that it helps in such ..uhm.. shocking situations.
JJx
*chuckle* Orchestra of the Undead. Funny lady!
That must’ve been a hell of a shock. I suggest something *ahem* restorative to go with the chocolate that JJ recommends. The sort of restorative that comes in big, rounded, pretty glasses…
I’d imagine the deer went and had a swift brandy when it got home as well.
Helen: Would you believe I actually threw the hoover down the stairs once in case the spider I’d sucked up managed some Houdini-like escape and got down the tube and ran up my arm!
But, yeah, was pretty scary
JJ: Choc, yes, have been plied with Twixes throughout the day! Will be so fat soon, I won’t need a car – I’ll just roll everywhere!!
LQS: Booze, yes. That’s the answer. Always. You know me too well. Orchestra of the Undead? Um… well, the fact that it made you chuckle? I’ll say no more…
XXX
omg! a deer! Hope you’re ok.
I had to drive past a cow in the middle of the road today. I closed my eyes! I drive a red car and thought it might decide to attack me … honest. Eyes closed.
Caroline, with your eyes shut it’s much more likely that a tree jump out and hit your car! x
Oh Caroline, what are you like? Cows are quite massive though – big but gormless. They can be quite intimidating in great big gangs though!
JJ, good point!!!!!
X
Just a thought – if the O of the U isn’t that fun, um… why go?
Buggered car doors are Not Very Fun at all, are they? Hope it at least has the decency to be not too hideous to fix.
KW: If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t. In amongst the undead are the sparkling diamond geezers, innit? X
Ah – it’s that O of the U, is it? Hadn’t made the connection. *whacks forehead*