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Lost Memories May 29, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 8 comments

“Mum, I’m sorry I woke you up last night. You would only have worried that I hadn’t got back safely if I hadn’t. If it’s any consolation, we had a really good time and Jack says he still wants to marry you! In fact, all my friends reckon you’re the best Mum in the world. They’re wrong though. You’re the best Mum in the Universe.

All my love… ”

Tucked into the old, tatty, plastic wallet with this scrawled note are two photos: one of a man, in his late 60s, and another of two smiling schoolboys with goofy teeth and terrible hair. A typical school photo, obviously taken some time in the 1970s. There’s also a tiny, torn piece of yellowing newspaper which I unfold carefully - an obituary of a man: a father, a grandfather, a husband.

Someone has carried this little plastic wallet around for years. Years and years and years…

That little battered wallet of love and memories now sits in a box of lost property, abandoned in a tangle of odd gloves and sunglasses, with no way of identifying its owner.

I can’t bear to think how bereft that woman must feel without it. It really is too sad.

Bravery vs. Lunacy May 26, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Novel , 8 comments

This is probably a very bad idea… but… I have come over all brave. It won’t last.

I have added a new page… the first few thousand words of The Novel… it’s at the top… on its very own tab/page/thingummyjig.  You can just click here if you get the urge to read it.

Eeeeeeeeek. Ok, the formatting has gone wonky. I know not why.

I am feeling a little shy.
My tummy has gone all swirly. Oh my goodness. What am I doing?

Perhaps I will delete it… soon… when the scaredy-ness takes over.

Feel free to comment/offer advice/shake your head sadly at the utter bloody simple minded rubbishness of it all…

Oh… crumbs…

 

Writerly Witterings May 24, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal, Novel , 9 comments

Ooh, I’m feeling all popular today! And just a little bit important. The reason for such jollity? I have been tagged by Cally – and a writing tag, to boot! Crumbs, I have come over all ‘jolly Jilly Cooper’ for the occasion. In my usual mode of dimwittery, however, please do not be alarmed should I digress.

1. Do you outline?
Nope, not really. I have a vague idea of what’s going to happen but tend to take the organic, instinctive approach – aka making it up as I go along.

2. Do you write straight through a book, or do you sometimes tackle the scenes out of order?
Straight through. I make notes about scenes I want to include but, generally, I like the knock-on effect of events unfolding. Like domino toppling. Freefall. Parachute optional.

3. Do you prefer writing with a pen or using a computer?
Oh, Lord, my handwriting is appalling. Looks rather arty but is impossible to decipher. My scribbling would’ve been more effective than the Enigma machine, according to lovely bf. So, straight onto pc it goes. I can type 50 wpm which is a lot faster than my brain goes. Notebooks and scribbling only for poetry/notes/ideas/bits and bobs though.

4. Do you prefer writing in first person or third?
First, I think. Currently alternating as I can’t decide which works best. Not sure it matters, to be honest. I prefer to read work written in first person though. Seems cleverer, somehow! Maybe I’ll continue in first person then.

5. Do you listen to music while you write?
No, I can’t bear it. I like silence, stillness. My thoughts can be pretty riotous and that’s quite enough ta very much. Oddly, I quite like to hear the clatter of the keyboard. Audible proof that I’m writing, perhaps. I’ll sometimes pop on the music/radio that my characters are listening to though. They’re having a girlie dinner party at the mo and the main character is groaning inwardly at Katie Melua’s ‘pitiful childlike wailing’ (conservative hostess’s choice after Norah Jones). (Sorry Katie.)

6. How do you come up with the perfect names for your characters?
I make notes of names that I like, names that I loathe. I used to proofread school reports and found some amazing names. Fave: Dahlia. Chavviest: Shannelle. I had a customer once, terribly posh, whose surname was ‘Hardon’. But he was ex-army and always announced himself on the phone as ‘Major Hardon here’. Seriously. You couldn’t make it up, could you?!

Also, I can spend hours with this random name generator that gives the history and etymology on names from everywhere imaginable. A fabulous find. Was serious for a moment there. Hope you noticed.

7. When you’re writing, do you ever imagine your book as a television show or movie?
Absolutely! It always feels like quite a decadent, showy-off thing to do but I find it helps when writing dialogue in particular. I also have a soundtrack for each of my characters – the music they listen to is an important trait.

8. Have you ever had a character insist on doing something you really didn’t want him/her to do?
My characters are a willful lot! I find that they’re like rolling stones; I’ve created their general shape but they’re deciding for themselves which moss they pick up as they roll through the story. Secretly, I think that’s the best thing about writing. I love it when it all takes off of its own accord. As I’ve mentioned before, my characters have come out with lines that I’m actually stealing to use in ‘real life’. How bloomin cool is that?!?

9. Do you know how a book is going to end when you start it?
I think so. My characters might have other ideas though. Cheeky buggers.

10. Where do you write?
My study is the best place. It opens into the garden and, if I get up early enough, I can watch the sky change colour and hear the birds wake up as I tap away. I’ve tried writing on my laptop but it just seems to make me naughty. Plan: Sunday morning, laptop on sofa in sitting room, Something for the Weekend on TV. Relaxed writing. Words generally achieved? Absolutely sod all.

11. What do you do when you get writer’s block?
Writer’s block… hmmm… I just wait it out. Play out scenarios in my head until something goes ‘ping’. Reading helps. Actually, I find blogging a good kickstart. Oh, and I swear a lot, irritate lovely bf with speeches about how crap I am, demand wine and am a generally stroppy moo.

12. What size increments do you write in (either in terms of word count, or as a percentage of the book as a whole)?
I try to write at least 500 words in a go. My goes just need to be a bit more frequent! This snippet, for me, made writing a novel seem achievable:

500 words per day
= 3,500 words per week
= 14,000 words per month
Therefore
6 months to write an 85,000 word novel

13. How many different drafts did you write for your last project?
I’m hoping a second draft of the WIP will make it readable – I tend to edit as I go along. Yeah, lazy.

14. Have you ever changed a character’s name midway through a draft?
Only accidentally!

15. Do you let anyone read your book while you’re working on it, or do you wait until you’ve completed a draft before letting someone else see it?
I can’t bear the thought of it. Some of my work pals have read the first 2,500 words of the WIP but I found it mortifying. However, my boss laughed so loud in the staff room at one point, other people wanted to read it too, eeeeek!

16. What do you do to celebrate when you finish a draft?
I’ll let you know when I get there. Am hoping for a huge champagne-fuelled shopping spree. I will clearly be both rich and thin in 67,000 words time!

17. One project at a time, or multiple projects at once?
One at a time is quite enough – my temptation to tackle other things (short stories, articles, learning French, getting a new job) is generally due to procrastination.

18. Do your books grow or shrink in revision?
I plan to hack. Superfluous words suck. If in doubt, chop ‘em out!

19. Do you have any writing or critique partners?
Lovely bf is my chief critic and my sister was guinea pig when I was doing the OU Creative Writing course. Reasons: Little sis lives in Holland so cannot be wrestled during brutal honesty. Lovely bf is used to being clubbed round the head with a frying pan following ‘helpful advice’.

20. Do you prefer drafting or revising?

Revising is funky – sometimes I read a bit that I think is really good but can’t remember writing it at all. ‘How did I think of that?’ I chortle quietly, rocking in the corner… Writing can really make you go a little peculiar…

And I’m gonna tag JJ and Helen.

Existential Pickle May 21, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 7 comments

Liz has been posting profiles of the novel racers recently. It’s fascinating how people come across differently somewhere other than their own blog or website.

As for writing my own profile, that seemed an unnecessarily daunting task. Which of my roles should I adopt? The Retail Hell persona where I am “always upbeat, always capable, funny, intelligent”? Or the weary, bedraggled, never-quite-in-control ninny who gets into the car after work, desperate to get home for a quick weeping session and cup of industrial tea before the onset of teenage torture and household chores, dog poo and exploding cookers. Novel Racers – oh yes! I’m supposed to be a writer too. So, do I don the ‘I can do it and do it I will’ technicolour dreamcoat. Or the black mantle that conveys to the world that my words are trite, dull and aimlessly going nowhere but the bin?

“I don’t why you’re bothering with all that,’ chips my mother. Lovely.  I might not pick her as a guinea pig reader then.

My novel characters are having a huge discussion about which of the others around the dinner table they’d like to swap lives with for a week – it’s really amazing that the characters themselves are throwing up insights into each other that I, as their creator, hadn’t even noticed.

And me, who would I be if I could swap for a while? I don’t know, to be honest. I’d quite like to have a go at being the me I have pencilled in for the future, the one I always thought I’d be but haven’t quite managed yet. You know, just to see if I’ll be any good at it.

Of Vexatious Vee-hickles May 16, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal , 7 comments

Once again, my oomph has been crumbled and left out for the birds. The reason? I have been car-shopping. Oh dear, silly old me.

Me: Hello, I’d like to buy a car please.

Garage Man: What sort of thing are you looking for Madam?

Me: Oh, a silver one please, with a CD player and power steering?

Cue churlish sniggering, especially when I mention the paltry sum my insurance company have finally stumped up. Deary, deary me. But. I found a car. Ok, so it wasn’t silver. It didn’t have a CD player either. But it hadn’t been far. And I’ve also had recent practice in driving a red car. PAS, low mileage, jolly colour - what more could a girl ask for? (PAS indeed - hark at me! Learning the lingo, see? Not as daft as I look, me.)

Up I rocked to test drive my new car. Why I thought that a garage called AXLR8 would be found next to the gleaming Audi and Lexus showrooms, I’ve no idea.

The grubby garage man handed me a bent old key, not bothering to speak lest his fag drop from his drooping lips. He pointed towards a clapped-out deathmobile. I politely took it for a drive. For, oh, approximately three and a half minutes. Only one bend, luckily, as I almost ruptured my spleen during said manoeuvre. PAS my arse.

Still no car then. Jiggering jalopies, will this motoring misery never end?

Shamefaced of Sussex May 13, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Haiku, Journal , 10 comments

I insisted on watching the Eurovision Song Contest last night. Yes, yes, I know. But you know what? It was outrageously, spectacularly fabulous. Sequins and shimmying. Heaven. Whatever happened to shimmying anyway? The world would be a better place with more shimmying. Other things too, probably. Bowler hats, for instance.

Bowler hats, shimmying and sequins. My perfect world is clearly some sort of sparkling gay utopia. Crikey.

But the thing that shamed me most about last night’s freak-fest was my realisation that I had absolutely no idea where half the countries actually are. Are there more countries now than there were in the olden days? Latvia? Lithuania? Huh? Are they bits that snapped off the side of Russia? Why didn’t I get taught about the world in Geography at school? I remember learning about market farming in Cumbria which is a fat lot of good for a 16-year-old living in Jersey. Still, I am now fully enlightened, thanks to the Eurovision Song Contest.

On a cheerier note, the dog appears to have recovered from the strange seizure brought about by the Finnish heavy metal cello malarkey they ‘treated’ us to. All very odd but strangely compelling.

Latvians in hats is where it’s at. Wherever ‘it’ is…

Timewarp in sequins:
The Eurovision freak-fest
surpasses itself

Precocious Progeny May 8, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal , 7 comments

Puberty has a lot to answer for. Number 1 Son is currently working on his Brian Blessed voice. Seriously, it makes the cutlery rattle in the kitchen drawer.

Shouting Me: Stop the bloomin’ booming, can’t you? God, I’m going to have girls in my next life.

No 1: Let’s face it, if you had girls they’d be really fat. You’d probably have to live in a bungalow.

I can’t bear it. Really. How exactly did I end up with this creature with huge hands and feet who shuffles about with the body of Hagrid and the tongue of Graham Norton?

Bloody hell.

Rumpy-Pumpy and Big Choppers May 6, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 15 comments

Ok. So I’m thinking about sex. Not sex for me, you understand. How rude! No, I’m thinking about sex for my characters. It goes without saying that there’s bound to be some naked wriggling at some point. The trouble is, when will it happen? And how? And with who?

I feel like a letch, a perv… as if I’m constantly waiting for the right time to get their clothes off. Eek!

Writing Rule of the Week: Don’t ever imagine your mother reading your novel.

***

On anther note, how come the boy with the huge smile got voted out of Joseph last night? His teeth are obscenely ginormous but I kind of liked him? It should have been the orange cruise singer or the bin man, surely?