Precocious Progeny May 8, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackPuberty has a lot to answer for. Number 1 Son is currently working on his Brian Blessed voice. Seriously, it makes the cutlery rattle in the kitchen drawer.
Shouting Me: Stop the bloomin’ booming, can’t you? God, I’m going to have girls in my next life.
No 1: Let’s face it, if you had girls they’d be really fat. You’d probably have to live in a bungalow.
I can’t bear it. Really. How exactly did I end up with this creature with huge hands and feet who shuffles about with the body of Hagrid and the tongue of Graham Norton?
Bloody hell.
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Oh I so know what you are talking about but I have the girl too and her hormones at seven than the two boys going through puberty
Take heart!
Priceless!!! Cheeky little beggar!!!
Ugh, Liz, kids eh? Gives us plenty of material for wisecracks though!
Kate, you can’t begin to imagine some of the stuff my lot come out with… I just don’t know where they get it from!
Oh Jen, puberty is great … well, when you get the hang of it. You can do loads of stuff you couldn’t do as a boy:
× Be BIGGER than your mum and generally Loom
× Eat a significant per percent of an entire shopping trolley in one go
× Do Brain Blessed Mad Shouty Person Impressions
× Sulk on an Industrial Scale
× Sleep as if you’ve just had major surgery
× Rebel against your moral belief system
× Make you feel a fluffy slipped drudge
× Patronise you for ignorance about The Real World
× Take for granted the hospitality services you offer
× And some certain “Men Only” private things
Oh yes. Puberty is great for a bloke. At least while your mum is still looking after you.
Oh Bobo… you clearly have a great understanding of these things - I love the concept of sulking on ‘an industrial scale’. I might try that actually.
‘Men Only’ private things? Erm… huh? Such as? I can’t possibly imagine. Would you are to elaborate? No? Really?? Oh, shame
Bugger.
I have just read a flash of my future. I am so worried.
x
Oh dear. Sweet Caroline, how I have tried to shield you from the truth. I shan’t trouble you with issues such as smells or suchlike. I definitely won’t mention bed sheets. No, I won’t mention them at all.
X