Planning my Mid-Life Crisis May 3, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal , 12 commentsEeeek. It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m really not ready to be another year older. 38. Sigh. How come the even numbers sound so much older than the odd numbers?
The hilarious maintenance man at work has told everyone that I’m going to be 42. They all believed him, without even a hint of incredulous are you really? in their eyes. Oh, misery-me.
I have checked with my boss (who has just turned 25) that it will be acceptable for me to wear slippers to work in future. I will investigate getting a cat too. Having to get a cat is particularly irritating, as cats make my eyes itchy. But the rheumy look is ok when you’re getting on I suppose. I shall start listening to cheesey old-fogey music – The Carpenters, perhaps. Oh, she had a lovely voice, I will coo to anyone who’ll listen. I will start tutting a lot and rolling my eyes. And making stereotypical assumptions about people.
Actually, I’m going to spend tomorrow flouncing around Tunbridge Wells, having my hair cut and drinking lunch with girlfriends. Girlfriends who are all in their twenties.
Hmmm. I’ve never been good at maths. Maybe I’ll be 28, not 38. Nobody will notice, will they? Not with my new swooshy hair and talk of pussies.