Yet More Working Woes June 27, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackEeeeek. Following the previously documented tortures of the Retail Hell Development Day, I am, this very morning, to lead my own ‘team training session’. Ooh, ‘eck. I was only informed of this lofty trip to power last night so I have no idea what to rabbit on about for half an hour. My captivated audience for this will consist of Pretty Hana (the Bouncing Czech), the muttering Hinge and Brackett combo, Scary Sergeant Sally and Teeny Tiny Holly who is approximately 12.
I could adopt a smiley, patronising, mental mode, i.e. telling people that they are all ’stars’ which is guaranteed to make them think I’m ace. Yes, I shall practice saying ‘You’re a star’ in a breathless yet sincere manner as I drive to work. Must remember to touch their arm and lurch into their personal space while repeating said star sentiment. I could ‘whoop’ a bit and clap my hands too. That always goes down a treat.
Or.
I could let them moan and groan for half an hour before telling them that it’s good to hear their views but the session’s up and they’d better get on with it if they expect a tea break.
Or.
I could make them do star jumps. That’s the most appealing so far.
At least they’ll be more puffed out than pissed off. I will write something on a piece of paper and pretend it was my ‘objective‘ like I have been ‘trained’ to do.
After these thirty minutes of mega-misery, I will console myself that have earned three Great British pounds for my troubles and rejoice in the knowledge that I have been ‘developed’.
*****
Comments»
Hope it all went well.
Team Building is a nightmare. It’s unfortunate that Team Building is the one thing I’m calling for in my work. I’ve never worked in a place as bitchy and un-teamlike in my life! Like you, it’s retail I’m in.
I dread to think what the management would get us to do. The atmostphere and morale in my workplace is a low as you can imagine!
Ah, I need to get writing so I can become a best selling author so I can leave the place to rot. Bliss!
The image of you all doing star jumps……well I’m still laughing!
Ugh, A. W. team building is the pits!! I didn’t get very far at all this morning - when people just grunt and won’t look up from their pc, there’s really no point. I went for a wee, fluffed up my hair and put some lip gloss on instead
Yes, best-selling author would be a BIT more fun than retail, you’re right!!
Liz: When I rule the world, I’m gonna make ‘em do sit-ups too. Just because they were SO bloody awkward this morning!
I loved this post. You always cheer me up.
Just seen your message on my worrying post. That made me laugh too. Are you up and writing honey? I’m seriously impressed. I’ve managed 117 words, and no-one’s dead… One word at a time.
JJx
Ugh, I got up at 5 to write… it’s 6 now and I haven’t written a single word. I am seriously crap
Gonna do it now. Really. I am. REALLY!
X
Star jumps! Fabulous. Can I join you?
You got up at 5am to write! OMG! You are so dedicated and I am still avoiding writing by visiting blogs …
x
You got up at 5am to write? Wow! That’s dedication! I could never do that!
Caroline, it only counts as dedicated if I actually write something… getting up at 5 to surf blogs just makes me a geek!
AW: Zombie-like is how I write best!
X
Yowch!!! My eyes are watering just thinking about it.