Of Obsessive Compulsion July 6, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal , 12commentsNumber 2 son. Induction Day at Secondary School. Number 2 son has a few questions and concerns.
‘It says to meet in the hall. Do I actually go into the hall or do I stand outside the hall until someone comes along and tells me to go into the hall?’
‘It says take one pound sixty-five for lunch. I don’t think I’ll like any of their lunch so what will happen if I just take a packed lunch as usual and not take the one pound sixty-five they say I have to take to buy lunch?’
‘What if I am separated from the crowd and left alone by accident and accidentally spend the whole day in the car park eating my packed lunch instead of school dinners because nobody has noticed I’m lost?’
That was yesterday. Today? Nice and easy, back at primary school.
‘Are you sure it’s a non-uniform day? What if I get there and everyone is wearing uniform?’
‘It’s a non-uniform day. I put it in Outlook. See? Stop asking me!’
I drop him off in his jeans and footie top. I drive to work. I see all the other children walking to school. In their uniform.
I phone the school. ‘Hello, I just wanted to check that it’s a non-uniform day today?’
‘Um, can I ask who’s calling?’ asks the school secretary cruelly.
‘I am an anonymous but disorganised caller,’ I reply, cunningly.
‘Oh, hello Mrs Maltby. Your son is actually standing right in front of me, looking rather distraught. Perhaps you might pop his uniform in for him?’
I drive home. I drive back to school to ‘pop’ the uniform in. There is nowhere to park. The road is all clogged up with cars. Cars belonging to the bastard parents who have remembered that it is the class assembly I have been reminded about approximately seventeen times. I am late for work. I am due to run a training session for a bunch of Retail Hell oddbods in 15 minutes. It’s a half hour drive.
I scowl.
I swear. I swear quite a lot, actually.
I must make a decision.
I am a rubbish mother.
