Too Tyred to Type August 24, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Dieting Misery, Journal , 18 commentsUgh. On the recommendation of someone who shall not be named, but who I’m currently cursing, I have embarked on a diet. Another one. Sigh.
This isn’t just any old diet. Oh no. ‘Tis a detox too. I’m only on the second day and my poor body is begging lifelessly for a proper cuppa tea.
Instead, I am frowning, drinking Rooibos (unpronounceable so now referred to as Rudeboy’s Tea) and swallowing Nurofen by the handful. My neck feels as if it’s made of rubber and my head is likely to fall off and roll down the garden onto the compost heap at any moment. Concentration? Zero. Possibly less.
I hate dieting. I’ve done them all but, being a greedy-guts Taurean and latent lush, have always slipped back into naughty mode. Pathetic. Gin and Jaffa Cakes was my favourite diet ever – it even worked and I was terribly cheerful all the time. Low fat, you see? Genius.
But. Drastic measures are called for. Before being non-working, I used to rush home and strip off my suit (admittedly becoming rather bum-hugging) and change into either trackies for dog-walking or jim-jams for writing/studying. When I actually tried to put my jeans on, well! I’d have had more luck cramming a live jellyfish into an eggcup. Blushing, I sneaked into Gap and bought the next size up.
But, erm, let’s just say that they weren’t terribly successful either.
So. Neris and India’s Idiot-Proof Diet it is. I felt slimmer after an hour just reading the book but that was probably due to holding my sides laughing. Oddly, I’m not laughing today.
Am having to give up any pretence of writing and am instead tottering off to the beach to watch the dog learn to surf .
Taureans aren’t cut out for dieting. Luckily, Taureans don’t believe in horoscopes either.
Pffffff. Cup of Daffodil Tea, anyone?
