Of Trickling Time September 6, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Domestic Doings, Journal , trackbackSo. No more excuses. The boys waltzed off to school at 8am. I have six hours. Six Great British hours stretching ahead, begging to be filled with words.
Excuses I will not be using:
The dog keeps looking at me with his eyes. He wants to be taken out for emptying purposes.
I cannot take the dog out as I am waiting for the Water People to come. They are planning to dig up my front garden and kitchen to replace water pipes.
The Water People have not come. I have waited for an hour. I have drunk lots of coffee. Very lots, in fact.
If/when the Water People turn up, I will still not be able to walk the dog. I will have to wait because I will need too many wees after all the coffees. I am rather rubbish at weeing in hedges. And the cows might laugh at my bottom. Perhaps I will laugh at their bottoms first, just in case.
I have five hours. The dog is still staring at me in his sinister, smelly way. Sigh.
Comments»
That was a ‘chortle’ read. Thank you:)
Why do dogs ‘need emptying’ so many times a day? They really take the biscuit sometimes (as well as the bone)
Just want to wipe that moo cow’s nose….
get on with it then. I should expect your word count to jump up to at LEAST 50, 000 by the end of six British hours. (are they longer or shorter than Aussie hours??)
don’t let the dog distract you with his sad, neglected eyes.
Lane - I’ve never really decided whether I like cows or not. I think I probably don’t? Am glad it chortled you.
Rebecca - 50,000? Crikey, as I believe you Ozzie types say. And strewth. That’s a lot of words. I’ll do my best. At least the children have buggered off with THEIR sad, neglected eyes!!!
strewth! I thought it was spelled streuth! But ‘cor blimey I got it wrong.
See, that’s why I wouldn’t have a dog. Sinister smelly eyes. Doesn’t do it for me.
I love that cow pic.
JJx
Dandelion - You’re right, they really are smelly beasts. But, there again, so is my teenage son. Sigh. I’m doomed.
JJ, he looks a bit like Jamie Oliver to me
X
Hi Jen. Hope the water people are giving you suitable recompense for digging up your garden. Inconsiderate buggers.
I decided, at quite a young age, that I don’t like cows at all. They’re big and heavy and they can very easily squish you. The best way to see a cow is on a plate with pepper sauce and caramelised shallots. And possibly accompanied by a glass of something that contains alcohol.
Please empty your dog. You know you’ll end up regretting it if you don’t!
x
I got the scare of my life out metal detecting in the spring - about a hundred cows in one field, and I go into the next field. I’m about halfway down when a cow spots me, and all of a sudden the whole herd goes charging down the field to where there’s a gap in the hedge, and then back *up* towards me on this side of the hedge. It was like an episode of Bonanza! Decided to stay still and roar “fuck off, I have no food” which seemed to work, but it was bloody scary…
Don’t you hate the way cows follow you then stop when you turn round? Cows are definately up to something sneaky cows.
OH MY GOD, Jen, you’re so right. Okay, I did quite like that cow but now, well, I’m just a bit turned off.
LQS - I grew up with Jersey cows peeping over every hedge as I walked to school. Jersey cows are far less scary than ‘real’ ones because they can flutter their eyelashes in a scarily seductive way!
Hedgewizard - Oh, I’d quite forgotten about Bonanza! That did make me laugh…
Karen, yes. They are definitely up to something with their furtive following malarkey. They should make a Dr Who episode with cows taking over the world.
JJ - I think it’s the fat, slobbery tongue that does it?
Plus, Jersey cows are a much nicer colour.