Of Living in Limbo September 18, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackHmmm. I’m feeling a little on the quiet side at the mo. I have lots of things in my head. Sadly the things that should be there are missing, shoved out of the way by a billion and three things that are stressing me out.
I am running out of money. I know, living on fluff and Marmite should be a doddle as a starving artist type shivering away in her garret. But I’m not very good at being deprived. It gives me a rumbly tumbly and affects my frowning department. I am torn between writing short stories and articles in the hope that I’ll earn enough to remain non-working long enough to finish my novel. But. There’s no guarantee, is there, that my efforts won’t all be rejected and I will have also wasted the novel-writing time and still have to find a job? It’s seems a no-win situation.
Also. I am still on a diet. This, in itself, would not be a problem. But. My fat clothes are now a little on the large side and my non-fat clothes are still somewhat life-threatening due to my inability to breathe while wearing them.
Also. I have spent all weekend a-scrubbing ‘n’ a-cleaning. My bloomin, buggering landlady has decided that the time may have come to sell my house. Needless to say, I am far too poor to buy it.
So. The upshot of this ramble is that I am frequently naked or wrapped in cling film due to non-fitting of clothes and imminent onset of winter. I may soon be homeless as well as cold and nearly-naked. I still haven’t finished my novel or found a job.
I have therefore installed a sanity and hypothermia-saving ‘donation’ button at the bottom of the gubbins on the right hand side. If there are any millionaires reading this who would like to contribute to the arts by enabling me to remain non-working a smidge longer to finish said novel, feel free. I have nothing to offer in return other than my undying love and the promise of a free signed copy of the novel if/when it is published. Think of it as sponsorship. It would make you feel nice. Really.
For mere non-millionaire mortals, feel free to contribute the cost of a glass of wine should you get the urge. You wouldn’t want me to dehydrate on top of all my other miseries, would you??
Until all my crises are resolved, I can’t seem to rustle up any enthusiasm for my low-cal pie in the sky writing ambitions. I’m rubbish at being a grown-up.
Comments»
I feel your pain.
Article income is erratic, short story income is non-existent (even when they do get accepted) and “a proper job” is now my holy grail.
I’ve applied for five in the last week… what a bugger.
Jen, I know this will be of little help as I can’t donate any cash (being out of money and disgustingly broke myself) but I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry about your situation and I’m sending good vibes to sell your writing and/or get a job very very soon. *Hugs*
‘Naked and wrapped in cling film’? Sounds like a money making opportunity to me…
On a serious note, if my poority ever improves, that glass/bottle of wine will be yours.
Keep keep keep writing…….please
xx
Oh Jen, landpeople (is there a PC version?) are a pain, aren’t they? I’m sorry to hear that yours is suffering from a particularly bad sense of timing.
Fluff and marmite is all very well when one only has oneself to consider but it’s another thing entirely when there are small(-ish) savages to think of. It’s completely understandable that you can’t concetrate. Is there anyway that you could work (in the outside world) on a part time basis? Possibly utilising the cling-film/naked combination? I hear there can be very good money in it.
Thinking of you but knowing that you’ll sort it all out magnificently.
xx
Ooops, Lane beat me to it on the cling-film/naked thing. Which only goes to prove there must be something to it! But there’s always the Private Eye small ads. There’s always people looking for money in there. Always wondered if they ever got any… Could be a ’scientific experiment’…
BetaMum - bugger just about sums it up. It’s altogether crummy, isn’t it? Things always turn out the way they’re supposed to, apparently. Not terribly optimistic a thought, that!
Hellojed - happy vibes are much nicer than dreary old money so thank you. At least we’re all skint together, eh?
Lane & LQS - I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t mentioned the whole cling film thing? You guys are outrageous! Seriously not a good idea though. Well, maybe after a few more weeks on the diet then. If you ask nicely
Could you do something part-time, maybe proof-reading or something similar? In other words, something which means you can stay at home to work, and which keeps you working with words and language, as opposed to, say, Retail Hell…?
Oh, and is now a good time to point out the dehydrating properties of wine?
Ooh, let’s not mention Retail Hell. Temping is the new black, I reckon. And as for your theory on wine and dehydration? You are quite right madam, now is not a good time
Oh Jen, I sympathise. Can you find a part time job that still gives you some time to write? Actually, I do sort of feel that having some other work to concentrate on occasionally can preserve the sanity of the budding writer!
Whatever you do, don’t stop writing…
Cx
Jen, I’m sending over some nice warm positive quality karma waves for you. Keep on writing. And bugger the diet for a minute - eat some chocolate.
Mya x
Oh, SO yes. I’m still freelancing for pennies, although there’s a whisper that WP may be getting a job in October so maybe I can cut down to write more as planned. Which would be nice.
Being as far away as I am I send ((()))s and a cyber bottle of wine. Not a lot of good but I’m thinking about you.
Cathy, you have a point there. Sitting on my own day in, day out, is making me a bit funny. Makes me feel scared when I DO have to go out. Part time would be all I could manage anyway, what with the beastly kids. I won’t stop writing either… I go a bit funny then too!
Mya, thank you. Chocolate nibbled, hormones satiated. Who let them out anyway?
Hedgewizard - I need to get a wife. That is the answer!
Liz - Cyber wine less fattening than the real stuff so cheers. I’ll have some on your behalf since you’re a bit deprived over there…
wish I could send you enough for a whole BOX of wine - and shall do so as soon as my ship comes in. I’m glad you won my blog comp though - at least you’ll have something to read and when you’ve finished (should you get so desperate) you can use the paper for a fire to keep you warm for all of…oh….3 seconds.
I don’t know about that whole …short story, article, novel dilemma - which will bring in the most money the fastest?? - BUT - you are 50000 words INTO your book - so I reckon go for it - finish it and get it out there. While you’re waiting for agents and publishers to read and make decisions you’ll have PLENTY of time to write the short stuff.
Ms James, you are incredibly wise. Realistically, none of the writing malarkey is going to make me particularly rich. I guess that, if I’m running out of non-working time, that should be my cue to pull my finger out and actually finish writing my novel. That’s what I gave up my job for, after all. I am going to take your advice on board - a combination of all the comments, in fact - and just get on with it rather than wasting the next 4 weeks moaning
Hey sorry I missed out on this. Oh, Jen, do push on and finish before you have to go back to work - I am sending good luck vibes for you too.
JJx
Hope you are ok and cracking on with it today. xx
Thanks for the vibes, JJ - I will push on otherwise I’ll be mega pissed off. Hard sometimes, though, isn’t it?
Helen - feeling a bit more positive, yeah. Have applied for a couple of part time jobs and am determined to finish the novel if it kills me. Death by Writing. Hmmm, not so much fun as the chocolate version, hey?
XXX
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit low. Go and look at animal’s bottoms on JJ’s blog-that’ll make you giggle for now! Hippo’s bottoms are surprisingly cute!
Whatever happens, don’t go back to Retail Hell! I’m still there and it’s horrible! I’m sending you many good vibes!!
I work part time and it fits perfectly with writing. Don’t have any kids but I’m sure it could fit perfectly with them too!
Whatever you do, keep writing! I can’t wait to read the rest of your book!!!
A Writer - I’m allright really. Just a touch of the glums at the thought of real life having to start again! Not planning to go back to Retail Hell (I’m sure they wouldn’t want me anyway!) but have applied for a few things which will allow time to write. My degree course starts again Feb - am gonna do a serious 18 months back-to-back study then hopefully train to be a primary school teacher.
In the meantime, I shall just get on with it. Believe me, having a family to run after, working part-time and doing a degree combines to make a pretty hefty workload!
It wont raise lots of money but I’ve an idea……come onto my blog and send me an e-mail. I’ll tell you my thoughts and you can tell me what you think (and I won’t be offended in the slightest if you don’t think the idea is a viable one……I just loved the taster of your novel and don’t want to see you give up!!)
C x
A Primary School Teacher! Wow! You’d be great at that!
Oh Jen, I had the writing-articles-for-money-wobble when I first started this too. In my case, I realized it was really just another form of procrastination. I’d quit to write the novel and writing articles would just take away time from me getting it done sooner. (Can’t fail if you don’t finish, right! No? Oh…)
Hang in there, and good luck with the applications you’ve sent out. I think you’d be a standout teacher, btw.
I’ve never been in the exact situation that you, sadly, find yourself in but I can relate to the Fluff and Marmite situation, although my Fluff was rice and my Marmite was Brussels sprouts or whatever vegetable happened to be on sale. I used to steam up a bowl of white rice, add to it a little butter, top it with veggies and call it dinner. It was round about the time the first edition of Survivor hit the air so I’d watch it just so I could say my dinner was better than theirs! The day I found a new job with a decent salary I went out and bought myself steak, a baked spud and a bottle of Merlot. Best meal of my life! Hang in there. Your steak awaits.
Carol, you are truly wonderful X
A Writer - Thanks! The kids would all leave school completely barking mad but hey ho.
Angie - I don’t really see it as procrastination, as such. I want to be a writer but I don’t mind what sort of writing it is. Just so long as it’s writing. Your ‘can’t fail if you don’t finish’ thing is exactly what stopped me writing for years. As for teaching, it’s all part of my master plan which means I’ll be able to teach English when I finally run away to France. Yay. But we do need to finish our novels, don’t we?
Helen, hello. Rice with steamed veggies, eek. Being deprived in the food department is torture. But, as you say, it does make one appreciate the good stuff when it comes. Not sure any amount of desperation calls for sprouts though?!?!?!
Brilliant description of the pensioners in Sainsburys but they are more upmarket than the ones in Asda, where I -not far off a pensioner myself, shop. We have to wear our slippers in there and top the ensemble off with Argos Gold before fighting over the fishfinger crumbs.
Wanted to say how much your comment on Cathy’s blog about worrying about your WIP, helped me. Wish I’d read it before last night when I tried to read my whole 70,000 odd words again. It is impossible…and so boring.
Jen, why do I always read your posts the wrong way round. It has to be something to do with dyslexic.
I am so sorry about your situation. It is cold comfort to know we are in the same leaking boat - landlady coming round to inspect every three months. She wants us out really. Can you try:
part time as a TA at local school. You will have school holidays and afternoons to write.
Claim housing benefit as soon as you can so that you. Council also have list of landlords (why are they lords?) who are, supposedly, good. Legally, you are allowed to stay home with children until they reach the age of sixteen. At which point they are supposed to look after you. LOL. Email me if you like.
After thirty years of paying my dues, I got v. angry when faced with brick wall when my husband tried to become a student teacher. Got to stop writing these long blogs. Will get labelled as mad blog woman.
Oh sweetie. I can feel the pressure you’re under. It sucks.
Positive thoughts coming your way.
You need to get yourself a speedo-wearing-totally-fit-and-gorgeous-sugar-daddy.
xxxxx
Good idea Caroline! If I happen to find one who looks like Simon Cowell, I’ll be sure to save him for you
X
Fiona, I’ve just applied for a job as a school secretary actually. Housing benefit I’m not entitled to (or any other sort, come to think of it!). It’ll all sort itself out though. Just hard to see through it sometimes, isn’t it? I know you know how it is. We deserve better X
http://www.entitledto.co.uk/
Jen, sorry I didn’t mean to imply you were procrastinating by wanting to write articles - I meant that it was procrastination for me because I didn’t really want to write articles, I just decided I should for money (if it were only that easy). I realized it was a crafty way for me to avoid my novel. Definitely pursue it if you would enjoy it! (I’m terrified of having to interview people.)
Good luck with the school job. It sounds like a good fit for writing/working.
Fiona - Thanks Sweetie.
Angie - I wasn’t telling you off
Just saying that I’m a writing tart and will do anything for money! Yes, interviewing sounds most scary indeed. Am hoping the stress will make me thinner. Thanks for the luck. Keep those typing fingers crossed for me.
Gosh, this sounds so like me it’s scary. The running out of money. The looming day-job when I just want to stay at home and write. The weight loss craziness.
My former landlord decided to sell the house and offered me first dibs. I couldn’t afford it, so for a whole year I had to endure a parade of agents and viewers. Believe me, I empathize.