Writerly Rabbittings-On January 20, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Novel , trackbackWahoo! Just as I’d run out of lucid thoughts, Leigh tagged me for this mega-long meme. Whoever thought I could write a cure for insomnia?
What’s the last thing you wrote?
1600 words of The Novel yesterday. I’m going to do some more this morning before I tackle the garden. Just imagine how irritating it would be if, just as Pan Books offered me a publishing deal, my weeds took over the world and we all died before anyone had read the blimmin thing.
Was it any good?
Some of it was ok. After a celebratory glass of wine, I realised that the final 500 are complete tripe and need to be chopped. Hey ho.
What’s the first thing you ever wrote that you still have?
I used to write loads of really insightful diary entries, contemplating life and so on. Absolute rubbish. But I haven’t got them anymore. My parents got so fed up with me and my brother/sisters all moving out then coming back when life went wrong that they moved into a flat with no space for us. In the process, my mother threw all my stuff out. Probably just as well, eh?
Write poetry?
Sometimes. It’s a different kind of writing, isn’t it? Uses a different part of the noggin. I love writing Haiku. It makes me feel quite serious, frowning in concentration as I mumble and obsessively count syllables on my fingers.
Angsty poetry?
Nah.
Favourite genre of writing?
Sort-of chick lit. Not shoes ‘n’ shopping stuff but, you know, contemporary. I’d actually quite like to write something like Birdsong and make people weak from crying. I’m rubbish at that sort of marlarkey though. Hey ho again.
Most fun character?
I have a most jovial old duffer in The Novel: Max. He’s rather eccentric and louche and a complete womaniser but does it all with such panache you can’t help but love him.
Most annoying character?
Rajni. Bitch, snob, major chip on her shoulder. She’s always putting people down and making them feel crap. I want to stab her.
Best plot you’ve ever created?
How about weirdest instead? Take one crystal-hugging hippy chanting under the full moon. Make her a bit dippy so she confuses waxing and waning and her spells all come out back to front. Add a potentially lesbian vicar. And what do you get? Rejection letters, that’s what you get.
Coolest plot twist?
Pffff. None of them are ever cool enough. I used to devour Roald Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected as a teenager; they kind of set the bar at an impossibly high level. Crumbs, it’s at least 20 years since I read any of those. Must… not… buy… more… oh, sod it. It’s research. *Coughs a bit and looks round to make sure lovely bf does not notice the open Amazon page*
How often do you get writer’s block?
Not very often. I did have a couple of days when I knew exactly what I wanted to write but the words just wouldn’t come out. My stumbling block is getting going. I hate writing but love having written – Dorothy Parker.
Write fan fiction?
The very fact that I had to look up ‘fan fiction’ to see what it is suggests a ‘no’ here.
Do you type or write by hand?
Type, if I’m working on The Novel. Poetry must be written by hand. With my lovely Mont Blanc fountain pen. I need brown ink though. That would make my poems far less rubbish. Freewriting – both. I go off on more tangents if I write by hand. I might go off on a tangerine one day and then where would we be?
Do you save everything you write?
Yep. I love finding old notebooks that I’ve written stuff in that seemed utter nonsense but, years later, seems all mysterious and interesting. It’s a bit like finding old faded photos; you’re there, smiling with other people, but you can’t quite put it into a context. I like random.
Do you ever go back to an old idea long after you’ve abandoned it?
Yeah, I still think of ways to improve anything I’ve written. I even do it to old blog posts, just tweaking a word here or there. Obsessive? D’you think so?
What’s your favourite thing you’ve written?
I quite like this. No idea why, I just do. So there.
What’s everyone else’s favourite thing that you’ve written?
I don’t know. If I had some psychic senses, I could tell you. As it is, I do not believe anyone when they say they like something what I’ve writ. It’s a tricky old business.
Do you ever show people your work?
If I’m feeling brave or squiffy, yes. I do think blogging is brilliant for building confidence – just the sheer fact that I can sit here on my little patch of English countryside and someone in Alaska will read something that has come from my tangled mind is awesome. Even if they did only find it by googling ‘adult nappy domination’. Freaks.
Have you ever written a novel?
Nearly finished it, since you ask. I was supposed to start a two-week temp job on Monday. Lovely bf, possibly in order to stop my incessant whingeing, has paid me the money I’d have earned to stay home and finish it. He’s not bad for a Northerner.
Ever written romance or teen angsty drama?
I have a stinky teenager. Making up more misery would be mental. Romance? Well, yeah. But my romance is a really bitter organic truffle with a shot of chilli in it from Montezuma’s. It’s not a Milk Tray orange cream thingummy that sticks to your teeth and makes you feel sick.
What’s your favourite setting for your characters?
The Novel (I must think of a title!) is partly set in a small art gallery. One of those trendy backstreet places that have huge, bold oil paintings of a single scarlet petal in the window.
How many writing projects are you working on right now?
Just The Novel. I’ve got some ideas for articles I want to write once The Novel’s tucked away to ferment before editing/re-writing/burning as a sacrificial offering to the gods of good sense.
Do you want to write for a living?
Oh yeah. Bring it on. Now. Please?
Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Sigh. No. Ain’t never won nuffink. I did get a distinction for the OU Creative Writing course though. And a complete stranger emailed me after reading my blog to wish me luck with the novel. Such a brilliantly kind thing to do; it absolutely made my day. I would like an award one day though. An award with sparkly silver glitter all over it. The sort that comes with a cheque for £5000.
Ever written something in script or play format?
Nope. I might do one day though. I like dialogue. That’s why I talk non-stop.
What are your five favourite words?
Rubbery. It makes people sound a bit Chinese when they say it. Yes, I am pathetic. I also like: malarkey, pantaloons, twizzle and bum. I am most highbrow and clever, no?
Do you ever write based on yourself?
Sometimes. I am terribly dull though.
Which character have you created that most resembles yourself?
Kat in The Novel has quite a big bottom…
Where do you get ideas for your characters?
Real people but mangled about in my fevered imagination. Oh, I do sometimes just make them up too.
Do you ever write based on your dreams?
I would be certified immediately.
Do you favour happy endings, sad or cliffhangers?
I love books with sad endings. Sobbing helplessly so I can hardly read the final words is something I love in other people’s writing.
Have you ever written based on artwork you’ve seen?
Yep, frequently. Especially for freewriting. I often use ‘Stumble’ and pick the first photo it finds as a prompt.
Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
I used to be a proofreader. And I am obsessive and finicky. Bad grammar makes my teeth itch.
Ever written something entirely in chatspeak? (How r u?)
Please. It’s more than I could bear. Even my text messages have to have proper capitalisation and punctuation.
Entirely in L337?
Sadly, I cannot count.
Was that question completely appalling and un-writer like?
Haven’t the faintest.
Does music help you write?
Ah, now, I know exactly which music my characters listen to and it gets lots of mentions in t’book. If my characters are listening to music, I play it while I write. Sometimes, if I’m stuckified and trying to write some funny, I work in the sitting room with Friends on the tellybox. It works, honest! ‘Lunatico’ by Gotan Project is going to be the music for the opening credits when the book becomes a film…
Quote something you’ve written – the first thing to pop into your mind.
‘Her mouth was like a letterbox and I was all male.’ Oh dear. Sorry about that.
Comments»
So funny! I love the idea of making people weak from crying with my writing. With laughter, preferably.
I like the sound of your wierdest/best plot…I would want to read it!
This made me laugh so much. I think you should get a sparkly award for your answers here (plus that cheque, of course!)
You’ve tagged me eh? And pray how on earth can I follow that? (Very very funny.) And I know I started a sentence with the word ‘and’. Just wanted to make your teeth itch!
Loved your quote, very funny! I’m a great Roald Dahl fan too. Hubby bought me Tales of the Unexpected on DVD. They look a bit dated now, but great storytelling and some brilliant twists.
Karen - oh yes, but to make people cry with laughter is so much harder than crying with sadness…
Pacha - Glad I’m not the only weird one here then!
Helen - ooh, me teef, me teef…
Maddie - The quote actually stemmed from a conversation about Julia Roberts and orthodontics. I am sooo not going to become a writer of erotica. I can’t wait to read Roald Dahl again. That theme tune is fab - instantly recognisable. I always wanted to be the snakey dancey lady in the opening bit…
Great answers Mrs Jen:-)
oh to be cleverly twisty like Mr Dahl!
I loved the crystal-hugging hippy, and I love your boyfriend too (in a platonic sort of way). What a gem he is!
OMG. I am going to have to go away on a sabbatical to do this one but I am glad you are looking out for me, m’dear.
Crystal hugging hippy. How did you know about my secret life?
Brill - as usual.
Loved your meme and still trying to recover from your quote
Lane, I fear I shall never be cleverly twisty. It sounds delightfully wriggly though…
Leigh - Lovely bf said that if I mention that he’s got me on less than minimum wage and that I have to wash his pants, he would cut off my internet access. So I won’t mention any of that at all.
Fin - Can’t have you going all quiet on us. It simply isn’t on!
Liz - It is a bit gross, I must admit
Loved this meme till I got to the bad grammar bit - I know mine is completely awful and I’m not even going to go into my spelling…..I blame the fact that the powers that be who decided in their infinite wisdom to try teaching spelling phonetically. It didn’t work!!
C x
I think your weirdest plot sounds fab, I want to read it too. And guess what? I’ve got a Max as well! Very different from yours, though; mine is a wounded lovely. Talking of ‘lovely’, I think lovely bf deserves a big up from your blog commenters. For the next two weeks, at least, you ARE writing for a living. So get the damn thing finished, willya?
Carol - I reckon grammar’s one of those things you sort of need a natural affinity for. It’s like art - you can know the technical rules but the ability to apply them at the basic stage varies greatly!
Zinnia - Fancy that, two Maxes! I might dust off my hippy and send her out again. And I’m finishing, I’m finishing!! (Grrrrrrrrrr…)
Same here with the grammar tooth-itch - and you don’t need to visit Amazon to get books - just join BookMooch.com and soon lots of lovely books will be arriving courtesy of the postman!
Thanks for the reminder about Tales of the Unexpected, I have retrieved my dusty copy from the shelf and am looking forward to a re-read.
I love ‘rubbery’ too, it appears in the first paragraph of my also-un-named novel. I am also fond of ’shrubbery’
Good luck with the final stretch, well done bf for providing the time.
Your bf sounds a treasure. I soooo wish someone would pay me to stay at home and write. Sadly, my cat doesn’t seem to have much money. He never offers to pay for anything anyway …
Sophie, uuurrrghhh @ bad grammar. It’s like an illness. Bookmooch, ooh… thanks for the tip. Shall investigate forthwith.
Sarah - Shrubbery, mmmmmm, yes. Very nice word. But now I’m thinking of ‘gnome’ and what a pleasantly dysfunctional word that is. Aaarrgh…
Helenmh - Bet your cat doesn’t keep coughing and wanting NightNurse. Or asking about its favourite pants being available. Or drink all the wine then mumble mentally all night. Count your blessings.
Wasn’t that the longest ever meme thingy? Took me ages to do mine. I was losing the will to live towards the end but it became like a vendetta! I loved the ‘do you want to write for a job’ type question. who would answer all those questions then say ‘no actually i don’t!’??
Sarah - Glad it wasn’t just me; I spent nearly all morning on it! There again, I do waffle more than most. We are clearly gluttons for punishment…
Hi
Just found your blog today. Have enjoyed the read.
Well done getting a distinction with the OU. I am doing the Creative Writing course at the moment. I am really enjoying it. Despite writing poetry I am struggling with all the metre and form. Such a bad module though. I have never been to the Trinity Theatre not even for a coffee. I know that feeling too.
Will pop back.
Poetessxx