Of Random Ranting March 11, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackBaked beans. Celia Imrie. Car salesmen called Steve who are patronising plonkers.
I usually like to think I’m the laid back sort. Mellow. But I’m feeling grumpy this morning and scowling at the sunshine. So I thought I’d have a little rant. Just for fun and by way of a change. Grrrrrrrrr…
Baked beans. Ugh. Double eurgh. All tiny and furry, like eating little hamsters’ feet. And liver. I am sooo not a veggie anymore but the very thought of chewing internal organs just really doesn’t do it for me. I seem to remember my mother feeding us this vile combination all too often. She would yell and wail and make us eat it during our school lunch breaks. None of us four children liked it so, as the oldest, I’d have to eat everyone’s while Mother shouted at us from the sitting room. Oh, joy. Happy days.
Celia Imrie. Smug on a stick. Sorry Celia. Even the fact that she was in Bergerac doesn’t help. She’s not as bad as beans though.
Steve the Salesman. Gawd. You’d think coughing up the best part of ten thousand quid for a super-duper, brand new car would be a pleasurable experience. But no. I am clearly the most dim-witted, cretinous customer poor Steve has ever had to deal with. What a revolting little man. And he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Git.
Wrong side of the bed? Who? Me?? Grumpy is the new black. So there. Normal smiley service will be resumed soon. Maybe.
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I’ll go and hide in the corner.
I love Liver. And Beans. But not together :/
As for Celia Imrie, I can see why you feel that way and about Steve The Salesman- he doesn’t sound like a very nice man. You should have run him over in your super-duper brand new car.
But beanz meanz lunch for TWO people for 30p so like them:-)
I once saw Celia Imrie on a London river trip. She was teeny.
I love Beans and Celia Imrie, but Steve the Salesman sounds like a proper plonker.
I love beans and Celia too but you are allowed a rant. I have been moaning to buggery all week so rant away…
I love beans but not liver and having a new car sounds nice. Is it green?
Hamster feet - exactly! I detest baked beans and often sulk at the weekend when rest of family insists on them. And liver as a foodstuff is very very wrong (though not as wrong as kidneys which I am convinced must taste of wee.)
I like beans, but hate liver. It’s tastes like blood. I can take or leave tiny Celia, but don’t like Salesman Steve even though I’ve never met him.
It’s good to have a rant.
Rant away! Steve sounds like the sort of toad that would put anyone in a bad mood.
Love Love LOVE beans…….liver on the other hand bleugh!! (I can’t help but feel that there is a very good reason why it is called offal - although I think they need to check the spelling!!). I’m also with you on Celia…….I have no idea why but she really irritates me!!
Steve the Salesman….he’s a car salesman….(I don’t think I need to add any more really!!)
C x
She was quite good in Acorn Antiques, I seem to recall.
Chicken livers with rice or in pate are good, certainly not with beans.
As for Steve, well, he’s damned for all eternity surely. He must have been chilly in that short sleeved shirt.
I will never be able to eat Baked Beans ever again. EVER AGAIN YOU HEAR?
And it’s all your fault.
Oh yes grumpy is indeed the new black. Rant rantety rant rant rant.
And if anyone mentions hormones THEY WILL GET A SLAP.
I am glad I was not the only grump today. Grumpiness seemed to rise in me like, like…. well like a hairy gremlin jumping on my heart (note to self, must work on creative writing lol).
Hamster’s feet and baked beans, I soooo get that and it really made me giggle Jen, thank you.
I hope you are feeling more settled after tonight’s pesto tea.
H
xx
Well I never right liked baked beans either but I could just about manage beans on toast once in a while but hamster feet on toast? Never again. Poor old Steve he’s had it now he must be shivering in those short sleeves with all the icy blasts of grumpiness coming at him from the blogosphere (is that what you call it in the trade?)
A Writer - I haven’t even been allowed to have my new car yet. But he will definitely be the first person I run over in it. I hope he doesn’t bleed and make a mess on the new sparkly bits.
Lane - she was teeny? As in thin? Ok. Good. I might hate her a bit more now. And she got to snog John Nettles while being thin. Smug, skinny cow. Oh dear. Perhaps I need a bit of a lie down.
JJ - Proper plonker. And other words. Pfffff.
Helen - Moaning to buggery is a most useful phrase. Consider it stolen.
Rachel - no. I don’t think I was allowed a green one unless I wanted to wait for seventeen years. It’s blue-ish. Should’ve got a black one to match my mood. Sigh.
Sarah - Urgh kidneys and wee. You’re gross. When are you coming round for dinner?
Karen - Celia could be baked in a pie, she’s obviously tiny enough to be mistaken for a kidney?
Yvonne - toad, yes! Slimy and a bit wet. I’m feeling cheerier already. Ta!
Carol - Offaly nice to see you! I bet the car salesman dreams of liver.
Lucy - Noooooooo! Acorn Antiques is the very antithesis of all that is good. I will forgive you for its very mention as you are practically French and I’m too envious to think of anything mean to say.
Pacha - I consider it a service to humanity. HAMSTERS’ FEET. That is all.
Zinnia - raaaaah. Give ‘em a poke with a pointy pencil too, I say. Do your worst when hormones are available for blame.
Hullaballoo - Crumbs, d’you think our lows are responsible for the dodgy weather fronts lurking mid-way between us? How wicked-witch-cool is that?!
Breezy - Poor Steve indeed. Hush your mouth. Blogosphere. Mmm, sounds nice and cuddly.
I have to agree that once you’ve thought of baked beans as hamster feet, you really can’t eat them any more. We prefer butter beans and kidney beans - and, no, kidney beans don’t taste of wee!
The kids eat beans hot or cold, in a bowl, on toast, or straight from the tin. So, I love ‘em. Sorry.
Celia Imrie - yep, I’m with you on that one.
Steve sounds like he needed a slap. I hope you supplied one… in spirit if not in practice.
Oh, I love reading other people’s rants. You just rant away, Jen, I’m with you all the way.
Helen - I’m doing the world a service, honest. Luckily I don’t like kidney beans either. Organ-related beaniness is not an option in this nonsense I call my life.
Leigh - Cold! Oh, no, I simply can’t bear it. I haven’t slapped Steve the Salesman yet. I just thought mean things in my head then shouted at lovely bf a bit later.
Car sales men. Short sleeves. Ick. I refused to trade in my last car with a Renault garage that would have given me a higher value trade-in simply because, when I went in to talk to them the first day, the guy I spoke to (who I didn’t initially take to be a member of staff as he was wearing some sort of Formula 1 t-shirt) was so bloody horrible. Sometimes, I will pay for my principles. Steve sounds awful and, rather than shouting or slapping, you should vote with your feet, as one might say.
The “hamster feet” comment may have scarred me for life. Am thinking of all my little babies footless and… Well…. Eugh. Liver is revolting.
Celia Imrie got to snog Bergerac? Clearly, she must be put to death. I mean, that’s just not fair.
Grumping at the sunshine is perfectly fine, hon. I’m doing much the same myself at the moment.
x
Baked beans! They come in little plastic pots now that you can zap in the microwave. Radical, eh? Being an ad man’s dream, I’ve just bought a four pack. I haven’t tried them yet, but I’m pretty excited about the whole thing.
Celia Imrie is married to a car salesman called Steve, apparently. I read it in ‘Hello.’ And they had baked beans and black pudding at the wedding breakfast. And I’m a lying git. Cheer up Grumpypants!
Mya x
I don’t mind baked beans unless the bean skin comes off and gets stuck in my teeth. Then I want to heave.
*bleurgch*
L-Q-S - You know what? Despite being pretty desperate for a new car, 85% of me is tempted to buy something somewhere else. I can’t believe that he’s managed to make me feel so bad at effectively paying his wages!
Maddie - You could therapy you know. They probably have a competition to win some on the beans pots…
Mya - You do make me smile. But smiling is not allowed during time of ranting. Maybe I’ll smile in secret.
Nez - UUURRRGHHH. I’ve never thought of the furry buggers having skin. EEEWWWWWW.
Smiley service is over-rated. Grumpiness, moodiness and general unpleasantness should be revelled in from time to time. Perpetually perky people can not be trusted. I seem to be having a day like yours. I’m sure I’ll be Little Miss Sunshine tomorrow though:)
Awwwwwww ♥Jen♥, you remind me of me with your little huffy grumpy strop! Though eating internal organs is just wrong, liver is a no-no, but tongue is my pet yuck!
Helen - Perpetually perky is a nice phrase. Grumpiness is quite fun now and again, isn’t it? Hurrah for a bit of unpleasantness!
Bobo - Tongue? Oh, Monsieur Bobo, we don’t need to know about that sort of thing here you know…
I wanna hear more about the Steve saga….
Bedshaped - All sorted. I had to put my foot down, as it were. My Corsa is yummy but grrrrrrr. I bet baked beans are a staple of Seedy Steve’s unsatisfying, single life…
I hate baked beans but I had never thought of them as little hamster feet - now I am hating them and shuddering at the same time. Broad beans are worse though.
As for Steve and his arsey short-sleeved-ness - yes do try to avoid blood on the sparkly bits of your new car
Sal - Oh, broad beans, disgusting yes! Stupid Steve will be condemned to a life of beans. All horrid beans, mixed together with… um… *tries to think of something as horrid as beans* Aspirin, dissolved into warm water with a bit of orange squash. Ugh. Why didn’t they have Calpol in my day?