Of Weekend Whingeing March 30, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , trackback
Well, there it is. The Novel. All printed out and bound, new pen at the ready. Crikey. There’s quite a lot of it. All those words wot I thunked with my Brian. Oddly, flicking through, I barely remember writing much of it. And no, this would not be a good time to point out the wine glass on my desk.
Hmmm. I realise now, of course, that I should have been reading about editing over the past four weeks instead of fannying about. I really have no idea where to start, short of reading it through with fresh eyes. Even that feels a bit daunting on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
A year to write. God, is that mad? I’m giving myself three months to edit. Re-write. Roll my eyes. Sob bitterly. Whatever. The delete key is looking quite alluring at the moment. If my keyboard had a fuck it key, I think I’d be quite tempted to press it.
But. I have to get it sorted before August so that I can submit it to the RNA New Writers Scheme people for crit. Yes, I’ve joined the Romantic Novelists Association. They sent me a magazine last month called ‘Romance Matters’. Bet that gave the postman a good laugh. How embarrassing.
A year of my life to write a novel that’s probably crap. God. And, if that weren’t bad enough, I signed up for the A363 Creative Writing Course with the OU this morning. That, in itself, is a good thing. But I have just bought all the past course materials for the other half of my degree which I’m doing in French. I’ve got a bit rusty since I took the foundation module. The reason for this? According to my OU academic record, it’s 10 years since I last studied French. Ten Great British years. How did that happen? I could’ve trained to become a brain surgeon or astronaut in that time. But no. I’m still just me, sitting here with a glass of wine and a pile of piffle to edit.
I think I may be on the brink of a mid-life crisis. Fat, forty and a failure. Ok, so I’m not 40. But I will be one day. Pass the bottle.
Comments»
That looks Very Professional. Sounds like you’ve a headache-inducing amount of work coming up. You haven’t got time for a mid-life crisis.
I have the heebie-jeebies every time I think of ANOTHER year rolling by without a bloody novel in the bookshops to show for it. Must Get On With It.
I joined the RNA a while back, and received the magazine you mentioned. I have it on good authority our postman has discussed it with everyone in the pub (he lives round the corner). I can’t look him in the eye any more.
Come on Jen take a deep breath. I’m imagining that the thought of editing is scary because when you’ve done that you have to say it’s really really finished and fastened it’s coat and straighten it’s hat and send it off into the cruel hard world to make it’s fortune. Poor little mite
Right, we’ll have none of this business, okay?
It IS scary thinking about all the editing, but once you start you really enjoy it.
Take a deep breath and/or a large slurp of wine and everything will be fine.
Oh, and you’re NOT fat, forty and a failure! You’re fab, funny and a mere fledgling.
Karen - No time for a mid-life crisis? Bloody Nora! It’s worse than I thought! Oh, that magazine. I have nightmares about it. have they never heard of plain brown covers? I’d rather the postie reported suspected porn around the village…
Breezy - Oh, crumbs, my poor baby is a ragamuffin. He’s got ginger hair and thick lenses in his specs, one of which is covered up with Elastoplast. He’s got no friends. Even I don’t like him that much. Waaaah.
A Writer - Fab, funny fledgling? Hmmm, alliterative compliments, I like it
Fanksverymuch! And shucks. *Blush*
I have no wisdom on the editing process, I haven’t even finished writing the bloomin thing yet. However, I do happen to know, that however hard it is - a glass of wine will always help. And maybe some chocolate, oh and some pringles. See, that’s much better isn’t it?
It sounds like you need a break from The Novel for a week or two. Then you’ll be able to edit with fresh eyes and a fresh brain - assuming not too many glasses are imbibed in the mean time.
I agree with A Writer’s comments too. Editing can be fun once you start.
I think once you start the edit, it will become easier. It’s good that you can’t remember a lot of it, too.
Can’t they mail ‘Romance Matters’ to you in a plain brown envelope to avoid embarrassment?
Mya x
I think the key words here are ‘not forty’. I wish I could say that.
You’ve got oodles of time and oodles of talent and a very nice red pen so get on with it missus:-)
Helen - I can see that this editing lark is not really compatible with dieting?
Cap’n Black - Sadly, I’ve already left it for a month and the time really has come to pull my finger out. I want to get on with it. But, um… oh, I don’t know. Can’t be harder than writing the bloomin thing, can it?
Mya - I guess I just need to get into the groove. Would a plain brown envelope mean the postie thinks it’s something worse than romance?
Lane - Luckily, I bought two red pens. I suspect I’m going to need them
But Jen, don’t you think it looks so impressive when it’s printed out rather than on a screen. I always think to myself, did I actually write all that.
And editing is great fun. You might think what on earth have you written, like me on my blog but you also think hey I wrote that, all of it. It’s a massive achievement. Take your time and enjoy it, you deserve it after finishing it in the first place.
And I’m with Lane, I wish I could say not forty too! x
Hi Jen,
It is so exciting that you have finished your novel! Even though I hate editing too I consider it like letting my character go back and change all the twatty things she’s said/done that day, and give all the funny retorts she thought of only when she’d gotten home!
Congratulations, it looks so professional - though I would personally steer away from the red pen - too many school day conotations for my liking!
x
Are you really not even forty yet? What have you got to moan about!;-)
Bon courage!
Do stop moaning atleast you have something to edit, and you’re not even forty, some people are obviously born lucky. I would give my eye teeth[if I had any left] to have something to edit and to remember what it was like being forty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I am fat (pass me the chocolates) and over forty (need the wine now) and also have to re-draft my bit of nonsense for RNA NWS too.
You’ll do it, it’s not so bad once you get going (the redraft that is, not the over forty bit. Although to be honest that hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be either).
Don’t you dare doubt yourself missy-woo. If your blog is anything to go by, you’re a very enteraining writer! Get stuck in - you’ll probably be alright once you get started.
I like Kerry’s comment about letting the character go back and change all the twatty things she’s said/done that day - I wish I could do that in my life!!
I’m sure the editing will not be anywhere as bad as you think it’s going to be and I think the novel looks pretty darn impressive all printed out like that!!
You go girl
*Said in a ricky lake stylie with arm actions and everything!!*
C x
L-Plate Author - It certainly weighs more than my brain does! It really is slightly awesome to see it in a big pile, ‘alive’. I just hope it behaves!
Kerry - God, wouldn’t it be great if we could edit our own lives?
Lucy - Not yet 40, no. But I only have another year. I think the fact that I’m about to turn 39 makes the thought of having to achieve something by 40 more pressing somehow? Once I actually AM 40, I won’t mind.
Sheepish - Sorry. Will stop moaning forthwith. Nice to have you back!
Debs - Ooh, I’d forgotten that you were in the RNA NWS thing too. I quite like editing, secretly. Fat’s not fun though. Bleurgh.
Nez - Ooh, I love it when you’re strict!
Carol - Ricky Lake? Blimey, is she still alive? Or alive, disguised as a redhead and living in Bangkok?
It looks fantastic - I’m very jealous, even though the whole editing thing does sound so daunting - but you can do it! I bet you’ll be really glad you took a decent break before looking at it again.
Sounds like you’ve got quite a schedule - editing, writing course and French degree - not the signs of a failure at all, just a very busy woman - will you be joining me on my early morning starts?
Looks so professional Jen! Great news about the course sign up, I bet you’ll love it. Good luck with the editing!
Trying to post again…..fourth time lucky I hope. Repeat after me, editing is fun, editing is fun……..but the RNA is a blast. Will you make it to the conference this year? It will double your yearly intake of wine though………
I’m still just me, sitting here with a glass of wine and a pile of piffle to edit.
The same glass?
Here’s a pressie for you.
Sarah - The break was definitely good. Signs of a busy woman? Signs of a mad woman, more like. As for the early starts? Erm… sadly, that’s the only way I fit it all in.
Yvonne - Ta! Glad to see you doing so well too.
Liz - aha! There you are! Ooh, I hadn’t thought about the conference… are you coming over for it?
Leigh - Oh my God, that’s awesome! Am gonna be printing it out for sure. I’m actually speechless!
Ha! I was going to be sympathetic, despite my professional training against it. But then you had to get all la la I’m Not Forty. So I’m in a huff now. It’s bad enough Hullabayoungster offering to fetch my bath slippers without my blog chums deciding that they’ve still got yoof.
See, huffy and over forty. Waaah!
Bobo - I shall be tres huffy when I’m forty. And I shall spend the next year practising. But bath slippers? Don’t they get terribly wet? Or are they really flippers but Hulluballoo hasn’t the heart to let you in on it..?
Jen - How exciting! Really it is! The editing bit, I mean. Just get started, that’s the difficult bit and then you’ll be on a roll.
And another RNA New Writer? Oooh, I feel like I belong to an exclusive club now. At least you’ve finished your first draft. Aarrgh!! I must really get my finger, or preferably all of them, out!
Maddie - It really IS exciting. Ooh, are we in the RNA gang together? Wow, brilliant. Come on… it’s good to know I’m in such illustrious company. X
It’s pretty impressive though isn’t it? I feel impressed. Writers are always struggling to eke out a living whilst squatting in miserable paris garrets, sitting in cafes and looking soulful and persecuted…so - er - that’s not you at all and i should just shut up.
but i AM impressed! a few glasses of wine and things will be looking…much the same but a bit soft focus.
Pigx
Pig - Ooh, you came back, lovely! I’d be no good at squatting, it would make my knees ache terribly. Wine-induced soft focus works wonders on most things, you’re quite right.
“Reading Like a Writer” by Francine Prose? That’s a joke book, right?
No, but really. Thank you for writing such a brilliantly funny blog. You’ve made me laugh out loud seven times in the last five posts. Thank you
Dandelion - I know what you mean about Francine Prose. I’d change my name if I were her. The book’s amazing though. Funny? Me? Aw, fanksverymuch.