Of Observational Observances April 13, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackI could blame tiredness. But I should probably blame the wine. I was a genius last night, articulating my Saturday night trashy telly thoughts so brilliantly, I realised I should be writing them down in my writerly notepad.
The wine has worn off now, more or less. And, just in case you were wondering, it really wasn’t my idea to watch Britain’s Got Talent.
So. (And I quote.)
“Amanda Holden is made out of discarded carrier bags”
“What is Dec wearing? He looks like an evil dentist” (I seem to remember thinking that ‘malevolent’ would be better then ‘evil’ but was too squiffy to spell it.)
“Ant and Dec always stand in formation so we can tell which is which”
“Nessun Dorma – engaging, just like writing…” (Wow, deep or what?)
“Ant and Dec: I’m going to marry it.”
“Why is that that really cool gay guys always end up as fat poofs?”
“Girl with no friends; her dog is James Bond and can walk backwards on two legs. We do canine freestyle, she announces proudly. Sounds pervy to me. Turns out they actually are best friends. Bf crying real tears at this point. Bloody hell. Dog isn’t wearing a Darth Vader outfit though. You can’t have everything.”
I even wrote down the adorable little thing lovely bf said to me:
“You promised you’d go to sleep but you’re still saying stuff.” Feel free to imagine him shaking his head and talking in quite a resigned sort of way…
Comments»
Wow I didn’t see that programme but your notes make it sound like a really bad acid trip (Darth Vader outfit?) LOL! And yeah, Ant or Dec always stand in formation. Still can’t tell them apart though.
Love it! lol!
By any chance did you see that bendy girl? Good grief, brought tears to my eyes!
Amanda Holden’s stylist will be thrilled! I think Ant’s on the left and Dec’s on the right. But, to be honest, does it matter?
Trashy Saturday night telly??? No, no, no. It’s terribly worthy. I like it very much indeed. I was crying along with your boyfriend. I liked the dog girl, she was only 16 and that young boy at the end, what a voice.
George reckons Amanda’s been botoxed and deep-filled. Possibly. She looked a bit different.
Yvonne - Ant ‘n’ Dec are actually one person? In my defence, I was the tiredest it’s possible to be in the brain department… or sloshed. Both?
A Writer - oh, God, I’d forgotten about the bendy woman! She was insane, like an alien! Or a lawyer… scary.
Helen - Amanda Holden’s styling is not as bad as her face…
Maddie - yep, I think it was the infiltration of plastic into her features that made me think of recycled carrier bags. Gross. I mean, I know she’s very popular and all that but crikey. Why doesn’t she just wear a mask? It would have more expression… (Sorry Amanda. I’m sure you’re really very nice. Skinny, of course, but nice.)
Did she cry? I’ve heard she cries alot. Mind you watching doggie freestyle is enough to make anyone cry:-)
I’m glad you watch this stuff so I don’t have to; your resume of it is adequate for me to get the picture…
I’m glad it’s not just me who can’t tell Ant and Dec apart, I though it was because I’ve got that thing where you can’t recognise faces.
Oh Jen this did make me laugh out loud!! The joys of British Saturday Night TV……..did they put this on to encourage people to go out more?
C x
That’s sooooooooo funny. Love the rather poignant comment by bf. You should make insightful notes every Saturday while high on Blue Nun - doesn’t have to be TV, could be a night out somewhere - then share them with us on Mondays.
What do you mean, you’ve got better things to do…?
PS, There’s a little award for you over at mine :o)
Lane, she’s always bawling in a non-genuine, non-red-snozzle sort of way. She really is most irritating.
Lucy - I might give up watching it. And then YOU would have to. It really is trash. No wonder I felt a bit weak next morning…
Carol - oh, yes, of course! Sponsored by publicans… you are genius.
Karen - High on Blue Nun? Crumbs, you really have got my measure. As for having better things to do… erm…
Fanks for the award, is truly kind of you.
So who was the fat poof? I need to know don’t know why.
Made me giggle.
I think I would marry AntDec too. If you found out which was which, then it would break them - they need to exist as one, forever and ever and ever.
x
Jen you’re tagged if you fancy it!
Jen, I have never actually been to your particular parallel universe, but it seems fun there - heaven knows I’ve often connected thought and speech without passing through sense.
There’s an award for you over at mine
C x
Breezy - well, he wasn’t actually a fat poof. In fact, I don’t think he was even gay at all. Just a bit orange and as camp as a row of tents. Still not telling you which one. Oh, and I only know this due to the kitchen insisting on watching it again…
Caroline - You are right, as always, Nice Caroline. AntDec is most marriable. A half would be no good at all.
Yvonne - ooh. That’ll save me having to think of a blog post, ta
Monsieur Bobo - thought, speech and sense? No, no one can do all those things at once, can they?
Carol, why thank you muchly dearheart
Seems like I missed something…or not, perhaps!
I didnt watch the show but you do make it sound interesting. I think you’ve missed your vocation as a tv critic. Hilarious.
What Debs said. Although I think lovely bf had the best line of the night.
Leigh - I think we’ll go with ‘not’…
Debs - Missed my vocation as a drunken tv critic perhaps.
Zinnia - the rotten sod always gets the best lines.