Of Determined Non-Dithering June 19, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , trackbackNow then, now then, she said in the style of Jimmy Savile. Jangle jangle, etc. I’ve been Thinking. Yes, yes, alert the media.
You see, around three years ago, I had a different life to the one I have now. I didn’t live in a cul de sac. I lived in a nice house that I owned with a bridge and a river. I had all day to myself and went running, did yoga, flounced about in clothes from Jigsaw and generally had a very nice time.
But I wasn’t happy. I took a few packets of St John’s Wort and drank quite a lot of Merlot. I chuntered on (isn’t ‘chuntered’ a good word? It really does what it says on the tin.) about having to separate the strands of my life to see which bits were wrong because I really didn’t know. And no one else had the foggiest what I was talking about and just thought I was a miserable cow. And then, everything else crashed around me. It happens that way – the Universe likes to get its laughs where it can.
But I’d started writing. Hallelujah. I was saved by the power of the pen. Ugh, not really, I just thought I’d see if I could make you vomit. I have to get my fun where I can too. If it’s good enough for the Universe, it’s good enough for me.
But, actually, it’s sort of true. I’d always told people ‘I like to write’ though never actually wrote anything except lists of things that I might have forgotten due to aforementioned gulping of Merlot. I need to be creative, to write, to photographise things. Being creative from time to time also means I can make better use of the misery I secretly quite like. Can’t go round be jolly all the time, that really would be puke-inducing.
But I haven’t written anything for months; between the coursework, full time job and very slow editing of The Novel (now called Still Life I think - apt, too, given the speed I’m going) I can feel those feelings of dissatisfaction bubbling up again. But amongst those bubbles were a head-poppingly good idea that draws together the bits of The Novel together that were stranded. And like my own strands of life a few years back, just that one thing has made all the difference. Means a massive re-write before the August RNA critique deadline but hey ho.
So. There you go. Blimey, that was a bit boring, wasn’t it?
I’ll summarise, in case you nodded off. Have Had Idea. Will re-write or die. Will also write more new stuff before I go funny.
Will try to figure out why I woke up with the Jim’ll Fix It theme tune in my head and secretly hope that you, dear reader, will end up humming it too. Mwah ha ha, the power of brain bamboozlement is mine.
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I love it when those killer ideas come along. Especially when they “save the day”. Good luck with the re-write. I’m sure Still Life will soon become Life In The Fast Lane.
Completely OT, but the last time I saw the words “strand” and “RNA” in the same paragraph, was in a biology text book!
You make me laugh! Brilliant news about the going back to writing and idea for writing. Don’t want you going funny, do we?
YAY to the idea and to the rewrite - you can do it!!!
Jen, ‘before I go funny’? It’s not too late then? Tee hee.
Seriously, I’m very glad to hear that you’ve had stonking good idea and will write. Excellent news. Let us know if you want to race along with the tortoises: 100 words a day. It seems to be working!
And yes, Jim’ll fix it is firmly ensconsed in my brain. Thanks for that.
Great news re the brilliant idea. ‘Owzabout that then, boys and girls?
Jimmy Saville, eh. Talk about a one-off. Thank God.
You quote Jimmy Saville and claim you have an idea that will save you from going funny’? Ha, too late methinks.
Don’t write=Go funny. I think you’ve nailed it!
And yes I would like to rent your brain for a while. Just to see what it’s like:-)
For some reason I got interested in the whole nice-house-St.John’s-Work to Cul-de-Sac thing, as you do. So I went looking back through your past posts.
No, there is no easy way to do that, is there.
Anyhow. Aside from repeated musings on what should of been some simple maths, ie:
500 words per day
= 3,500 words per week
= 14,000 words per month
Therefore: 6 months to write an 85,000 word novel
There was a dearth of house horror tales, and according to your search box, St John’s Wort has only been mentioned just the once. I think we should know the facts!
Well done with the head-poppingly good idea, I love them but unfortunately they seem all too infrequent in my world. I’m looking at the RNA August deadline too and was hoping to send mine off last week - hah, I do kid myself sometimes.
Loved your piece in You’re Not The Only One, excellent.
Best of luck with the edit.
Lovely post ~ really made me smile.
And yes, I now I *do* have the Jim’ll fix it theme toon in my head!!
Sounds like Jim has Fixed it For You (d’ya see what I did there??) I think all us would-be writers are a bit potty by default. Can’t be just me, can it?
When I was a Teen I used to secretly love being all moody and angsty, listening to depressing music in my bedroom and snapping at my siblings - I mistakenly thought it made me Interesting. They’ve since assured me I was just a Bitch.
I like your novel title and the cartoon. Your Brain is a mighty weapon.
I can’t remember the Jim’ll Fix It Tune. Does that make me a failure?
Cap’n Black - Cripes, I am clearly a scientific genius. That would explain a lot…
Pacha - Definitely not funny. Eep.
Yvonne - So can you!
JJ - you cheeky monkey. Yes, I’ve signed up for Helen’s hundred-a-day. Erm, will start tomorrow.
Lucy D - That made me laugh like quite a div. God, he was really awful, wasn’t he?
bedshaped - such harsh words. Jangle jangle.
Lane - you would have to get a special licence to rent my brain. Printed on bog roll, no doubt. Imagine if we really could have a go with other people’s brains though…
Monsieur Bobo - I was too busy being traumatised and had never heard of blogging. Logical.
Debs - We are living parallel lives, somehow?
Kate - Aw, fanksverymuch. Jim’ll Fix It for Yooouuuuuuu….
Karen - I see what you did there. You are inspired - have you ever thought about writing? I’d quite like to become a proper bitch. Just for a while. Ah, The Smiths and sniping at siblings. Those were the days.
Honeysuckle - No, no, not a failure. I couldn’t find you a link to the theme tune, which I’m sure will disappoint you. I found this though: you can make your very own Jim’ll Fix It badge. Awesome or what?
Please do it, Spiral, you know how important it is, and August is soon, do it even if you have to cut something else…
Oh, Lucy, I wish I could bottle your encouragement and sprinkle it into my tea. I will do it. I’m not sure how but I really will. And thank you for cheering me on. X
Snap! I had that kind of life too. Shopped - almost daily - at Waitrose, drove two huge 4 wheeled monsters, worried that I wasn’t eating enough organic and dressed in Boden or Monsoon - could never quite bring myself to buy the designer stuff.
Big crash two years ago and here we are in a little rented house, no BUPA, no new clothes, unless you count the car boot treasures and no money but I’ve never been happier - see I can make you want to stick fingers down throat thing too.
I love writing, just not sure I’m very good at it but it DOES ME GOOD
I have to break it to you honey….you are already ‘a bit funny’….but hey, that’s way way better than being normal!!! (At least that’s what I keep telling myself!!)
Yay to new ideas and new lives (Although, like Bobo, I am now curious….)
C x
That link’s brilliant - my very own Jim’ll Fix It badge! Thank you!
Writing-wise - the two best (IMO) stories I’ve written have been produced under the influence of horrible depression. Every cloud…
Good luck with the re-write.
Hmmm, you’re rather very funny, snaps look snappy also. I wonder if Sir Jim is still alive and kicking……
Life’s weird isn’t it? Lately, I’ve been thinking ‘This isn’t my life - this is just something that’s happening at the moment’. I think that makes me sound a bit strange though. Luckily, I can’t remember the Jim’ll Fix It theme. I can rememebr Mr Blobby though - which is probably worse.
Fiona - (eBay does good Boden. Shhhh.) I don’t know that writing does me good exactly. But I certainly need to do something creative. Once I’ve progressed from gonna-be write to failed one, I am going to be loving the photography. Writing is better than herbal tranqs, though, isn’t it?
Carol - takes one to know one, as they say! Ah, another, previously unblogged, life. Sigh. If only I’d had the know-how. My misery and mistakes would be world-famous!
Honeysuckle - Every cloud indeed. I do write best when every silver lining has a cloud. Specially the Funny. We have a client at work who’s a comedy writer. He’s a right miserable bugger. Can I see your badge?
Tom Foolery - Ooh, by cripes, hello. You’re rather very kind to say so. I do like being snappy. You photographise way better than me though. Mmmm, can you feel your photographic composition thoughts being sucked verily from you with the Brain Bamboozlement powers?
Helen - Noooooooo… not Blobby Blobby Blobbeeeeeeeeee before bed. You meanie, you. I’ll get you back just see if I don’t.
I’ve tagged you Jen, over at mine.
JJ - yay!
Hmmm, I wish you hadn’t mentioned that August deadline. Maybe we could write to Jim and get him to fix it for us?
Or is that Bob the Builder?
Maddie - I think Bob the Builder would do a better job of editing tan I am! I think Jim’ll is a bit dead now so no use whatsoever. I might take up smoking cigars.
Jen, you could ghost write Paul McKenna’s new book, “I Can Make You Write” - in fact, I already have an outline for it over at my clog. I am charging £10.23 in royalties to all who use the idea to their economic benefit.
Thanks (not!) I hate that tune
Hullaballoooo - You are a genius! In fact, forget the royalties… I’m thinking world domination? I do like your clog.
Suburbia - Pleasure. Really.