Perpetually Pipped to the Post August 10, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Haiku, Journal, Novel, Photos , trackbackOh dear. Time has been teasing me again. I wish it wouldn’t though I suspect it persists simply because the bastard always catches me out.
So. The re-write for RNA New Writers Wotsit critique. I had a very good idea. Instead of extreme re-writing (performed wearing helmet and reinforced bra) I decided that I would de-crappify it enough not to be embarrassing and then, ta-da, re-write properly after slating critique to mend the bits that had been torn apart. Genius or what?
Unfortunately, I’d forgotten that I’m not called obsessive-compulsive-nitpicking-pain-in-the-arse for nothing. I have to throw myself off the precipice of perfection, otherwise I feel I’ve copped out. Always do the positive thing. My glass is never half empty. I fill it up before that point. Not as daft as I look, me.
So. Two weeks to re-write an entire novel? Can it be done? Who knows. I’ll die trying though. Well, I won’t because I’ve just signed up for a Travel and Type travel writing course. Two days after I come back from a jaunt to Jersey. And having discovered that there are no decent travel guides about Jersey. And I am a Jersey girl. Going back after five years with fresh eyes. Do you see where I’m going with this? Mmmmm, just taste the synchronicity (man) (she said happily but hippily).
I’ve been Thinking Thoughts. And I plan to make the most of them before I discover that someone else is doing them too, as is often the way with trickiness of time and Putting Things Off.
I had an idea, a while ago, that a haiku and photo to mark each day would be rather spiffing. And then it transpired that Rachel had been doing it all along and, actually, far better than I can. I doff my cap to her. But I’m not planning to doff my cap to anyone else. I am fired up. Raaaaaah. See? My dad’s not known for his philosophy but he said to me once: ‘You’ll be alright, you’re a Grihault.’ A Grihault, a proper Jersey Bean, writing about her return to the rock? There’s gotta be some mileage in that, don’t you think?
No cartoons today. I’m getting serious about stuff. Sorry about that.
The stream chatters on,
unaware of its journey
into tomorrow.
Comments»
Aww sorry!
Thank you for the praise, though. I’ve written a haiku and a cinquain every morning for the last five years, but only recently started adding photos.
Great haiku!
And the travel thingy sounds great. Have always wanted to go to Jersey. Can you include a bit for travellers that can’t drive!
I’m loving your new name: obsessive-compulsive-nitpicking-pain-in-the-arse, can we call you that from now on?
LOL at JJ’s comment!!
Good luck with the re-write….you can do it!!!
C x
Hey I saw on my google alerts this post about travel writing. and the fact that you say there are no decent guidebooks to Jersey! Well, you are probably right but I wrote the best book about New Jersey ever written (it’s now being continued by another writer) so I almost blew my stack. But then I realized you were talking about the original Jersey, the one that the New one was named after when the English settlers came over here to this continent and kicked the Dutch out.
By the way, I am the author of a book called “Crafting the Travel Guidebook” which goes over some basic information on how to write, publish and sell a guidebook. It’s available from Amazon.uk I believe. Also as an e-book from http://www.booklocker.com.
Don’t have a clue if any of those online travel writing courses are any good, but my book certainly is. So maybe you will write the first good guide to Jersey. Just make sure folks know it’s about the island, not the state in the US that gets a bad rep because of the smokestacks and the Sopranos. Because we tend to call New Jersey just plain Jersey as in “Jersey Girl” - the movie with Ben Affleck, or The Jersey Boys–the hit Broadway musical.
Love the haiku!
And I think travel writing is SUCH a good idea.
Really, you are very clever.
Rachel - You are totally forgiven. But I wouldn’t forgive just anyone you know. It’s only because yours are so terribly fab.
Cal - Jersey’s very nice. You don’t drive? Ooh, I see a rollerblading tour to be planned. The downhill bits towards a cliff face could be interesting…
JJ - It looks a bit daft on my passport but it’s growing on me.
Carol - That JJ! Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Barbara - Wow. You wrote the best book ever about the other Jersey? That is so cool. No smokestacks or Sopranos in the Jersey Jersey… just 90,000 alcoholics clinging to a rock. Am off to investigate your wares on Amazon now. How very groovy this is. More serendipity. Love it.
Caroline - I really AM clever, aren’t I? Oh, hang on, I meant modest. Nope, that’s not right either. Mental but keen, perhaps? And thanks. I like Haiku so much they make me dribble a bit.
(Oh gosh, what did I say to get my comment removed? - it was there and then it wasn’t there…am I in disgrace??)
What about producing ‘a Haiku and photo’ desk calendars? Haiku and photo greetings cards? Haiku and photo bookmarks? Haiku and photo…oh, I can’t think of anymore….but, y’know, take that idea and run with it…somewhere in between re-writing the novel and starting the Jersey book. You can fit it in, course you can.
Honeysuckle - My naughty blog ate up your comment. But I had it in my laptop wizardry and, behold! It is now attached to your new one. Your ideas are tres whizzy, as they in France. See? Am practicing being a bit foreign
Good luck with your travel writing - Brilliant Idea!
And I thought you were busy?!?
I liked the haiku… just what I needed for my first morning back in the land of rain. And now my arms are peeling
“Returning home, swimming upstream like a salmon.” Enjoy your journey TFx.
Dear Word Press
Please don’t eat this comment about the Jersey Bean travel guide which is such a great idea.
Good luck with the rewrite Jen, enjoy the course and then get writing the travel guide.
I did a travel writing course once, it was mint. Run by the bitterest man in the universe as his travel books had gone out of print. Poor bloke. He did make me giggle though, had fantastic sandals and swishy hair.
Sounds like a plan. And I haven’t booked my holidays yet so I will wait patiently while you write The Guide. Then I’ll follow it. I’m off the last week in August - any chance you get it out by then?
Good luck with the re-write and the travel guide too.
I certainly think there’s some mileage in a Jersey travel guide and I live here. It may be small but there’s loads to see if you can find it. If you need any help or anything, just let me know.
Dx
Ooh I agree about there being loads to see in Jersey. I saw John Nettles when I was there … you will be mentioning him a lot won’t you?
I have been doing a little arithmetic for you. There are 336 hours in a fortnight. Assuming your novel is 80,000 words long that means you only have to edit 238.09523809524 words per hour. Easy peasy!
Great haiku, great picture, and I’d read your travel guide in a shot - I absolutely loved Jersey when I visited all those years ago.
Annie - thanks! I must confess, I am rather smitten with the idea of it all…
Tony - my Haiku made your arms peel? Crikey. I should come with a Government Health Warning.
TF - Ooh, liking the metaphor very much indeed. I might steal it away; t is truly how I will feel. Fish out of water. I just hadn’t realised it until your comment. Ta v much, oh wise one.
Pat - I can’t believe Wordpress ate the Jersey Beans. Is very greedy and naughty.
watching9987 - Your wish is my command. Um. Would 2009 do you? I will be too busy buying super sandals and swishy hair until then?
Debs - I will no doubt be pestering you all the time, thank you. I’m excited to see how things have changed, actually. A little butterfly-ish too, perhaps. So many ghosts lurking round corners…
Helen - I will mention Stinger Nettles in every chapter. I promise. He really was a bit of alright, wasn’t he? I saw Gary Numan once, coming out of the Jersey Aero Club. My mum didn’t know who he was and told me not to talk nonsense. Ah, those were the days.
David - I knew I must be making a fuss about nothing. Thank you for your wise mathematical ways. How deep do I bury the job and school hols for them to not influence the equation? Ugh. Words are so not conducive to mathmaticalising.
Yvonne - You’d read it in a shot? A shot of what? I’ve got your boozy ticket, young lady. Hey, you could test out the pub section for me?
Sounds grand - I’m thinking of a trip to Jersey to see Grumpy and Debs (Oh, didn’t I mention it, Debs??). Be sure to mention the monkeys (the simians, not the band) or am I getting my rocks muddled up? Oh well, just goes to show how badly your guide is needed. Get to it!
Oh my god, the lunatic Jen is going to appear with a notebook in hand jotting everything down in her shorthand (well it looks like shorthand after a glass or 5 of red!). No doubt mentioning every opportunity that she is an author or novelist or budding writer. Seriously though, I think its a fab idea. Maybe it can tell us locals what to do when the summer comes to an end on 11th August!! Not too sure about rollerblading though, there maybe only 90,000 of us clinging to the Rock but there are at least 100,000 tourists driving round and round becuase Jen hasn’t written the guide book yet and so they don’t know where to go! Tam,I also happen to know that Jen will thoroughly research the beverage side of the Island!!!
Good luck with everything.
Did you see the A363 course book is now listed on Amazon? Exciting!
Has Cheggers gone? Is it safe to come back?
I adore the idea of ‘extreme re-writing’ - although surely for it to be truly extreme, it should be done underwater?
Tam - rocks are all the same, especially when you’re falling off the edge. Hmmm. Maybe I could write a book about dsplaced monkeys instead? No? Oh.
Hayley - !!! Honestly woman, you really will give people the idea that I’m some sort of drunken nutter who can’t read her own writing? Ah. But you’re right, I will be writing stuff down. And taking photos. Evidence, you see? You have been warned.
B - Thanks Pet. Ooh, is it really? Crumbs, I hope I can control myself not to buy it for a quick shifty before the OU posts the course materials out. Ooh, so much excitement!
bedshaped - I’d have saved you from Cheggers. I really would. There’ll be no more reference to him, I promise. Whey hey! Oops.
Zinnia - Maybe I could wear a peg on my nose while I get the hang of it? Pegs on noses sounds more Mr Bean than Extreme, somehow…
Good to see you back and blogging, honeybear. I love ‘mental but keen, ‘ it’s very very funny. Although obviously I don’t see you as mental in any way.
You are a talented and highly motivated writer. You go girl sugar hon (and all that)
Kisses from foggy Yorkshire (boooo)
Hulla
xx
Ooh I went a bit goose-bumpy there - very impressive haiku. I’m not sure I can even call you Mrs C after that post. Best of luck with the re-write - I’ve done that before ‘cos I work well to a deadline :o)
Never been to Jersey, but my mum assures me it’s a lot like Scarborough, my home town. But warmer.
Best of luck with the re-write. Best of luck with the travel book. Best of luck not going completely barmy doing both?! Fx
Hullabeeeeee - As I sit here editing my Novel of Nonsense, I am smiling at your foggy Yorkshire kisses. I might put them in a pot and write a poem about them one day.
Karen - Aw, goose-bumpy? That’s such a nice thing to say. Jersey people don’t talk with that funny Yorkshire accent. They have their own funny accent. But it is warmer, except next week when I will be there. Next week, it will be snowing in Jersey and I will wear my thermal bikini and people will say ‘yes, Mrs Cheggers always was a snazzy shade of blue’.
Fionnuala - Barmy? Barmy you say. Hmmmmm. Yes. And Fiddlesticks. Possibly even Pantaloons. With pencils up my nose. Barmy. What?
You are brimming with serious stuff. This is good, no?
Keep brimming. Keep going Jen:-)
Extreme writing sounds brilliant - lets do it. See who can de crap their novel first although I know mine has far more crap than yours so you’d have to be handicapped in some way. Perhaps we could weight your book down with a chapter of cliches - stolen from mine.
Lane - Brimming with something. Serious is scary. Flippant is fun (but not terribly productive, apparently).
Fia - I’m handicapped in that my right forefinger has gone numb from mousing, highlighting and deleting crapness. As for the cliches? They’re as dull as ditch water. Ahem.
I can help thinking that IF somewhere as easy to get to as Jersey hasn’t already been travel written, when even the Wehrmacht could be bothered to take an extended stay, THEN there might be a reason for that … possibly an unflattering one.
PS: I know this comment is late, but your new post is even later!