All Packed Up Unready To Go August 24, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Domestic Doings, Journal, Novel , trackbackSo. Who said it wasn’t possible to re-write an entire novel in ten days flat? Here you are then… Rewrite: The Kamikaze Method.
- Ignore grumping that alarm is set for 4.45am every morning for a week; ignore fact that eyes are apparently stapled shut.
- Drink more Extra-Strong Tetleys than is medically recommended on the right side of sanity. In between bouts of brewing, write, write, write, write, write, write, write for approx. 4 hours.
- Fall into shower and brush pegs before lumbering off to work in unironed clothes. Pretend to be lively; try not to stumble about the place like an absentminded donkey. Remember to make packed lunch beforehand as you already had your lunchbreak before you got there. Colleagues can be bribed to buy Picnics and DoubleDeckers and Toffee Crisps. These also counteract healthy lunch and therefore = balanced diet.
- After 8 hours’ solid toil, go home via supermarket for more pizzas. Spotty malnourished kids = sign of a real writer.
- Have nightly argument about why you are so knacked out before going to bed in huff.
But I did it. Four hours’ writing every day before work. Utter madness. And yesterday, I stuffed it all into a Jiffy bag almost as big as those under my eyes and off it went. It’s better than it was two weeks ago. I even cried at some parts. The Novel is therefore either bloody brilliant or the tiredness and hormones got the better of me. And, yes, I’m already thinking of other changes I could have made. The postage should have been far less considering how many holes the plot has. Oh, arses.
Still. After the Post Office, I threw all the clothes I own (spare pair of jeans, clean pants and dodgy unsuitable psychedelic hippy top) into a bag, dyed my grey hairs (and ears and right hand) shouted at the boys every 3.5 seconds before bundling us off to the airport and onto a plane bound for Jersey.
It was an odd feeling, hurtling down the runway as I was physically propelled towards my past. Last night, I scoffed Chinese with my mum before making the poor old bat frolic on the beach in the dark. The tide whooshed in, St Brelade’s Church and the Fisherman’s Chapel glowed peacefully and No. 2 son discovered a talent for Irish Dancing. On the beach. In the dark. It’s nice to be home.
Today, however, there is daylight. Jersey has changed since I left 6 years ago. It’s different. I’m different. And I still haven’t decided what I think about that.
Comments»
Well done!!! Well done! Well done! Well done! 4.45a.m? They haven’t even laid out the roads at that time, have they? You are officially my heroine! (I can’t do the early morning writing thing, nor the late evening writing thing…or during the day or anything really. I’m pathetic!)
And now, you can enjoy Jersey and think about the next novel
Have a relaxing lovely holiday!
You’re my hero woman! How do you do it? I can hardly get up at 9 am let alone 4.45. A great achievement. Hope you’re enjoying your holibobs.
ok - it’s now official. You rock! (even more than before)
I am so impressed.
Well done. So very,very, very well done.
Enjoy your hols big time:-)
Crikey woman, if I were wearing a hat, I’d take it off to you. In fact, that’s so bloody marvellous that I might just go and find one and then I CAN take it off to you.
Your stamina, your perseverance, your energy (albeit depleted a bit now…) well you deserve a bloomin’ medal.
Have a fab holiday.
Oh, well done, Jen!
Hmm, that doesn’t seem enough to say really. But take this as one of those times where “Less is More”.
Have a great holiday, you’ve earned it.
There’s such a thing as 4.45am? I didn’t know that.
Congratulations on an amazing achievement. Now you can take a well-earned break.
Wooooeeee! Congratulations. Did you have to pay excess baggage for your eyes?
You are now my official goddess of choice. I shall offer sacrificial gifts to you every Tuesday. Jammy Dodgers or Jaffa Cakes?
Seriously, that is so inspiring. Now go to bed.
I am in awe, an extra four hours, and before work too! I just couldn’t cope with that.
I could picture you all on St B Beach, it is beautiful down there, especially at night. Mind you if you haven’t been back for six years, you’ll certainly see changes, most of them bad too, I think. The Waterfront will be completely different to your last visit.
I hope you have a relaxing holiday and manage to catch up on some of that sleep you lost with your re-draft. If you have any spare time, let me know and maybe we can meet up to say Hello.
Dx
Blummin’ well done on the rewrite! My eyes got even baggier just imagining it. (I’ve just accidentally hair-dyed my carpet and chest of drawers a speckled brunette by the way.)
Whenever I go back to my home town Scarborough, I come away feeling funny and I’m not sure whether it’s in a good or a bad way.
Have a lovely holiday and come back refreshed :o)
Super well done! That’s amazing. Enjoy Jersey and say hi to John Nettles for me if you bump into him x
I’m with Cap’n B. I didn’t know there was a 4.45 that wasn’t in the afternoon.
enjoy your break. You deserve it.
*wanders off in shock at how hard people can work when they need to*
That is absolutely brilliant! Congratulations! You are now officically my role model! Have a great break. :-))
Pacha - ‘laid out the roads’? That’s a good expression! I’m better at the non-writing than writing - I did it for months which is why I ended up in such a pickle. I really am quite a loser.
Yvonne - Holibobs! My fave new word. The only reason I came here was so that I could use it more. And sadly, I’m still programmed for non-sleep and up before 6 again… ugh.
Lane - No, no, Sweetie you got it wrong. I don’t rock, I’m simply on a rock. Similar though.
JJ - No medals. All rewards in VodkaTonics, if you please.
Pat - ‘Less is more’ doesn’t apply to the VodkaTonics does it?
Cap’n Black - Perhaps there aren’t two 5.45s. Perhaps I wasn’t really up. Perhaps I am merely a figment of my own rabid imagination? *gulps*
David - ok, that made me laugh out loud. ‘Yes, she laughs at her laptop too,’ the kids will tell the men in white coats when they come to get me…
Fiona - Jaffa Cakes in bed. Oh yeah. Bring ‘em on, Baby.
Debs - Blimey, everything is different. At least the French bakery’s still there by the Town Hall. Mmmmmmm. Might tackle the waterfront today. I almost don’t want to look! T’would be funky to say ‘hi’… will shout if I get the chance.
Karen - going ‘home’ is such an odd thing, isn’t it? I certainly don’t feel I belong here anymore but sort of wish I did. But glad I don’t. Sort of. Oh, I don’t know.
Helen - I wonder whether they do a John Nettles-flavoured ice cream? You can have a lick if I find one.
B - Just wait ’til the writing course starts. There’ll early starts and wailing aplenty. I just can’t do anything without a guillotine-like deadline. There again, after all those early starts, I permanently feel as if my head’s been hacked off and left in a wicker basket to dry out.
Annie - I’m sitting in bed at the crack of dawn, gasping for a cuppa and looking at the Lonely Planet Guide to Travel Writing. Obsessed, I tells ya, ob-bloomin-sessed. Yaaaaaaaaaaawn. And why, pray tell, were you up so early on a Bank Hol anyway?
I am not worthy. *falls to knees and beats forehead on ground*
If you write about that differentness business, it’ll probably help you work out what you think.
Hope the rest of the trip goes well.
Wow, you’re one determined writer and/or complete nutter (technical therapy term). I hope Jersey relaxes you and lets you s l o w d o w n
Oh my lord…..4.45….in the morning….blimey!!!! (am kinda speechless at that!!!)
Well done you….give yourself a huge pat on the back and have yourself some relaxing time!! (Oh…and lots of wine and curry :-))
I know what you mean about returning home….I feel like that about Glasgow. I always feel as if I’m in some weird dream where you know your in your home town but somehow it all looks different!!
C x
And have you seen the study timetable for A363? It’s already making my brain ache. 9 weeks of independent study at the end! And the final TMA has a pass mark of 15%. I can’t imagine how difficult it’s going to be. Oh well. At least there’s a few of us going through the pain!
Well done you. 4.45am blinkin’ hell woman far too early. Maybe you should become a milkman (milkwoman)
Enjoy your hols, good research time for the old travel book. TFx
I think I could do 4:45am…that is British time, when it’s 8:45pm here.
I’m very impressed by your dedication and hope you enjoy your well-deserved break!
Well done!! Weirdly, have just met a woman from Jersey - which may not seem much of a coincidence to you but as I’ve never met anyone from there ever in my entire (lengthy) life before, it seems worthy of mention to me.
Love that cartoon too - that’s definitely my excuse from now on.
Zinnia - I keep meaning to write about the differentness. But I keep being distracted by thoughts of throttling my teenage grunting son. These may be my last memoirs before I’m thrown in prison.
McBobo - It’s sheer bloody-mindedness and, yes, determination. If I never make it as a writer, it won’t be through lack of trying!
Carol - That weird dream thing is it exactly. We went into town yesterday and I saw so many people I recognise, still traipsing up and down the same street, looking miserable. It’s a real Groundhog Day thing.
B - Oh my. 9 weeks independent study? 8 weeks doing bugger all then 1 week panic stations you mean? And how can the ECA pass mark be 15%? What on earth could be so tricky to merit such a low pass mark? Ooh, ‘eck.
TF - I’ve gone off the idea of a travel book. I’m not sure I love it here as much as I thought I did? Hmmmm. How about an anti-travel book?
Angie - that is so totally cheating! You have to get up at the real 4.45am and suffer like the rest of us!
Honeysuckle - Ooh, I love coincidences like that. This may sound odd but I’ve hardly seen anyone I know when driving about the rock but of the 30,000 odd cars here, my dad was behind me in a queue for the filter-in-turn yesterday. Weird.
That’s commitment for you! Well done, and I hope you get the feedback you want. Enjoy your hols…
Bloody hell - there’s two 4.45’s in a day??
Seriously well done, Jen. I’m in awe. Are you ever going to be the same again??
Hannah - ta! Let’s not think about the feedback for while though…
Tam - The same? Um… no. probably not. That’s a relief, then, eh?