Of Exceptional Education September 23, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackI’m still a little amazed that No. 1 Son has started his GCSEs and even more amazed that he has time to accomplish anything at all in between stinking out his room and surfing the web for semi-naked women. Honestly, in my day boys had to manage with the Playtex section of the Freemans catalogue for their education in those sort of matters.
Anyway. Now and again, by way of novelty, I try to engage him in conversation.
Me: ‘So, No. 1, how are you finding your courses?’
No. 1 Son: ‘Well, they’re not as good as things like Citizenship. We’re still in mixed ability for that.’ He sniggers a bit, which sounds like thunder and makes the room shake. ‘The teacher says we’re gonna discuss abortion, yeah? Then she asks if we all know what it is. There’s this girl, Flo, yeah? “Abortion’s what they have to have in Africa”. Teacher looked a bit confused, yeah? Then Flo says, “yeah, cos there isn’t much food, so they only get a small bortion”.
No. 1 looks at me knowingly. “And I owe it all to you, Mother, that I have learnt to be disparaging about other people’s stupidity.”
Aaaah. That’s my boy.
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Actually, we boys of yesteryear looked goggle-eyed through the uplifting pages of Health and Efficiency. We thumbed with sweaty digits at naked people, some of them young ladies, tossing beach balls at each other and generally frolicking in uninhibited relaxation. No wonder it was banned to the top shelves. Thank goodness for growth spurts.
Bless him, he sounds scarily like my own dear chap. Good for him.
I have an uncannily similar son just starting his second year of A Levels. We call him, ‘Smart Arse’ He doesn’t mind. x
Hi Phat Blud, You’re such a “off the hook - Rent” doing an “Nang” job teaching your no 1 son not to be ” flossing” “or be “dissed” to others. TFx
Poor Flo needs a bit of extra tuition pretty quick methinks.
I like the sound of No 1 son’s laugh. I take it, it’s quite …. subtle:-)
Blimey, only semi-naked women? That’s good!
Ah, citizenship! My teenager took that one last year. Most pointless subject in the world, apparently.
As Debs says, Bless their little cotton socks!
McBobo - I suspect I will never be tall enough to be a proper perv. Ho hum. Health and Efficiency sounds rather like bathtime in a hurry. Don’t suppose we’d be much good at that either.
Debs - They mentioned any of this in the baby manuals, do they?
Annie - I secretly quite like clever, smart arse kids. Except when they’re being cleverer than me, of course. D’oh.
TF - Yes. I think. Eh?
Lane - No. 1 is truly turning into Brian Blessed. Ah, the laugh as it rumbles through the valleys… Poor Flo was also amazed when they discussed Bill Gates giving wodges of dos to charity. She had him mixed up with Gareth Gates, apparently, and had never heard of Bill!
Maddie - Actually, I am quite often horrified by the net alerts that tell me what terrible things he’s been trying to look at. Is Citizenship what we used to call General Studies? It’s all anuvver world now, innit?
Awwww poor Flo…..she’s obviously just not that bright!!!
Hehehe, and at least it proves that No.1 does listen to you at least some of the time!!!
C x
My post of today will explain the lingo
TFx
I think Citizenship is what we used to call Life Studies - pretty scary that was too! I quite like the idea of Gareth Gates taking over the Microsoft empire. Let’s see what happens!
My teen takes all the credit for her superior intelligence whilst inferring that I am unbelievably stupid and know nothing. I take a perverse pleasure in being as stupid as possible around her. It’s quite fun.
That was quite some converstaion for a mid-teen boy. Mid-teen girls, on the other hand, never stop talking. And it’s always about either eyeliner or lipgloss or some grossly expensive item of clothing they need you to buy for them…
Given that mine are 8 and 6 just now, I have all this to come. Oh joy!
ROFL as we sophisticates say. The boy will go far.
And I thought it was thunder rolling down from the pyrenees…all the time it was your boy, tittering. Citizenship? You have to be taught that these days? That’s a bit sad really.
Mya x
Carol - It’s irritating when kids perform the ‘grunt and yeah’ form of speech but even more alarming when they suddenly forget to be cool and talk like a normal person. Poor Flo.
TF - It’s all another world, this teenspeak. You are clearly very with it and groovy indeed.
Helen - I think we called it General Studies but don’t remember what it consisted of. I was always too scared to speak so probably went and hid in the music room until it was over. Gareth Gates could take over the whole world. I’d rather it were Will Young though if we’re talking total world domination.
Tam - being deliberately dim does seem to drive them bananas, doesn’t it? Luckily, it seems to become more a way of life as each day passses…
Honeysuckle - my sis has two girls of exactly the same age as my brutes and, honestly, they’re like a different species. The whole eye liner and lip gloss thing would probably befuddle me more than the grunting and stiff socks though… ugh. Were we like that, d’you think?
Hullaballooooooo - I must confess, I did go into work once and ask how it was possible that I would still like my kids by the time they became adults… It’s not an easy job, this parenting lark.
DOT - Now, I am strangely impressed that you know about ROFL. Seeing you in a whole new yoof way now…
Mya - You’ll know he’s watching comedy when your dogs hide under the kitchen table! It is a bit sad, having to learn how to be a citizen. Sounds a bit Communist. Excellent.
My sons have now finished their GCSEs. It didn’t go well, but I can’t blame half-naked ladies in this case. They may have inherited my fuzzy brain.
Your son is how old again? He sounds awfully smart - wonder where he got that?