Mirror Mirror, On the Wall… December 23, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackAs you can guess from the title of this post, I’ve been reflecting. I know, it’s never a good idea. But I’ve been thinking about Novel 2 (to be bravely entitled Chameleon Karma). I have the basic theme wrangling about in my head and it appears to be one that keeps coming back again and again and something I’m fascinated with: identity.
Now, this blog used to be proper anonymous. But after this occasion when I rather gormlessly outed myself, I’ve been all too easy to find. And you know, it makes me feel a bit funny when people actually Google my name. Ok, yes, there’s more than one of me in the world and I’m not the cheerleading one from Ontario or the one with prize-winning canines.
Someone Googled me a few weeks ago. “Jen Maltby”. Which is weird as I know I’m the one they were looking for. But neither I nor anyone else usually call me those two names together. I’m Jenny-with-a-surname.
It reminded me of an aside from a colleague (who knew me pretty well) a few years ago as we tottered drunkenly home together after a Christmas party.
‘I do like Jen Maltby,’ he said. ‘But I often wonder what happened to Jenny Grihault.’
Just recently, I’ve been wondering that too. I think she’s still in there. And, while people change and morph all the time, I think I’m finally growing into ‘me’.
I’m going to be 40 in 2009 and, actually, I don’t think I mind. I recently found my very first school report… I was 5 years old…
“Jenny is a lovely girl and it shows in her eyes just how carefree and exciting life should be for her…”
Over the years that comment has, without exception, reduced me to tears. My life hadn’t turned out like that. It hadn’t turned out right. But I’ve decided that 2009 will be the year that teacher meant. Oh yes. Just you wait and see.
It’s Christmas Eve tomorrow. I wish you sparkles and sequins or wellies and wilderness. Whatever you like. Although I did just typo ‘willies and wildnerness’. You can have that too, if you like.
Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. And RAAAAAAAAAH.
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Mirror, Mirror on the wall – you look cute as a little wee Jenny. Now being forty is not so bad, it’s just different you have to act mature like. Oh and your memory goes AWOL and you get grey hairs – but the plus sides are ……. bugger can’t think of any. Have a good Christmas and I hope 2009 is a wonderful year for you m’dear. TFx
Jenny Grihault … the classical flute player, now a cow counter? That’s you, OMG! Oh well, carefree and excitement, here we come! Bugger off tears!!!
Since I’ll be the next big one up in 2009, trust me, you have nothing to worry about. 40s can utterly transform you’re life. Though having said that, I’ve just split my Starbucks Toffee Nut Latte down my front … a sign of things to come?
PS: If you haven’t noticed, you’re first piccie hasn’t piccified.
He he, I remember you telling us about that occasion at the NR meeting. And other occasions too, of course.
Here’s to many more incidents and occasions in 2009!
ps. You young wippersnapper, you.
Awww, what a lovely post.
I was talking to TD about an extremely frail old man who takes part in our shows. He can’t walk very fast but in an atmosphere which is often highly charged and frenetic, it’s lovely to see people take care of him to ensure he is dressed and on or off stage when he’s meant to be. Anyway, TD was saying she feels very uncomfortable talking to him and I reminded her that on the inside he’s still the man who played romantic leads fifty years ago.
So my long-winded point is, it’s what inside that counts. And on the inside you’re whoever you want to be, Jen.
PS Can I have sequins and willies, please?
Here’s to ‘carefree and exciting’ from now on!
Identity is a slippery fish. The reality of it never quite matches up to what we’d like it to be. Doesn’t mean we can’t keep working on it though:-)
As for turning 40? You are a mere babe. And a real babe, as gorgeous a girlie now as you were at five.
Merry Christmas and RAAAAH!:-) xx
Great post, Jen
Love the picture
Merry Christmas to you and yours and…
Life begins at 40
xxPat & Tessa B
You so are that lovely girl Jen. All the best for 2009. JJx
Jen, may this year be your best yet.
Can I have wellies and sequins? On second thought, maybe not as I have what can best be described as “sturdy” legs and can never find wellies to fit which is my best possible excuse for not going for long walks when it is muddy. So, just the sequins then. And some olives. I do love olives. Have a lovely Christmas!
I do hope that 2009 is indeed wonderful for you. x
Merry Christmas to you and I hope 2009 proves to be a great one for you!
Merry Christmas Jen! I really hope you have a fabulous Christmas!
You are not turning 40 next year? 30 maybe, but not 40!
Big things are coming next year! I can feel it!
Merry Christmas, Jenny-with-a-surname, and many good wishes for 2009. What I want to know now is: how do you know when someone’s googled you?
Raaaaah indeed!
You’ll really enjoy turning forty. I think most people do. I really did. Somehow, the pressure is off, in all sorts of ways.
Identity is a great subject to write about, especially now when folk communicate in such remote ways, modern technology being what it is, you can portray yourself however you want to.
Anyway, got to go now and finish taming this lion and cooking a gourmet meal before Natalie Imbruglia gets here for her flying lesson. Busy, busy, busy.
X
Forty is a good one.
That is a gorgeous photo, what was the dolly called? And does ‘carefree and exciting’ have anything to do with getting pissed? If so, can I help?
Just remember: I’ll always be older than you.
“willies and wilderness” Bwahhahahaha……! I find that combo extremely enticing.
I understand so perfectly what you mean: my life didn’t turn out the way I planned AT ALL! But I’ll die before I stop trying to make it what I want…
I’m rooting for ya, Jennie-from-the-blog. 2009, here she comes! (Lovely little-Jen photo, btw. You know she’s in there, don’t you?)
That’s really touching, what a nice teacher, but I know just that feeling of disappointment in one’s life. I think most people do quite like 40, actually, I’m sure you will.
Happy Christmas, Spiral, and a truly wonderful New Year, thanks for coming my way!
TF – Wishing you lots of everything for the New Year. Not grey hairs on your legs though. That would be mean.
McBobo – Oh God. From flautist to cow-counter, you’re right. How tragic can one life be?? At least you spilt your coffee rather than dribbling it. There’s life in us yet!
Cap’n Black – You mean I’m starting to repeat myself like some doddery old fart? Aaaarrrggggh. Wippersnapper, me? Ooh.
Tam – It’s easy to forget to see people on the inside rather than judging them by their covers, isn’t it? And as for being whoever we want to be, well yes, quite. But what happens if we still don’t know who we want to be? Oh yes, this next novel’s going to be a barrel of laughs! Sequins and willies it is then *waves magic wand and tries not to think about potential chafing caused by such a combo*
Helen – Yeah! Bring on the carefree and exciting! Raaaaah. Shall we share it, just in case it’s a little bit scary?
Lane – Merry Christmas and RAAAAAAH to you too. Not ‘reality’ though – identity’s one thing but ‘reality’? Man. Double dose of grown uppedness. Best not to overdo it, eh?
Pat – Why thank you. Sending love and doggy snacks.
JJ – Aw, thank you! It’s going to be a good year for us ‘Jens’. I’ve decided.
Yvonne – I’ve a feeling it’s going to be a defining year for many of us. Eek.
Loth – Olives and sequins it is. What a gloriously arty combination. If it were a play, Celia Imrie would be in it. Olives and sequins dot com. Hmmmm. There’s definitely something alluring about that.
Debs – To you too: we must get together when I go back to Jersey for a birthday knees-up!
Sarah – Ditto, with deely boppers on.
Paige – I’m going to be 30, not 40? Hurrah! I always knew my maths was up the spout. Phew. 2009, bring it on!! Woo!
Honeysuckle – You can tell when someone’s Googled you by a funny feeling in your tummy and a yearning to drink blue sherry. Or sometimes, if you’re technomalogical, your stats will tell you. In your dreams. After sherry. Hic.
Clive – Oh, I’m so glad you’re back in Blogland. Natalie Imbruglia eh? I’d quite love her if I were that way inclined. She realy is impossibly beautiful. Cow. Feed her to the lion!
Thursday – You know, I think you’re probably right.
Zinnia – OMG – I can’t even remember what Dolly was called. ‘Dolly’ probably. You can definitely help in the drinking department. Then I can blame you for being a bad influence. Ha!
Liane – Ooh, enticing is a good word. Does what it says on the tin. I might spend today thinking about enticing things. Doesn’t this time of year just positively fizzle with potential? Oh, and Zinnia and me are voting to have the next NR meet in your neck of the woods. Raaaaaah.
Lucy – A couple of years ago I used to proofread reports for a school in Kent bfore they could be sent out to parents (I know, shocking). They almost all used stock phrases and templates except one art teacher who had something fabulous to say about each girl, even if it was nothing academic. The right words at the right moment can totally makes one’s destiny swerve off its dreary tracks. Sending all things wonderful to you too…
I believe that we grow into the people we were meant to be as we get older!! You go and grab those dreams hon because it’s never ever too late!!
Oh, and remember….40 is now the new 30
Hope you had a fab Christmas and that 2009 is a good one for you
C x
Hope you had a fabulous Christmas and that 2009 will bring you whatever you want, be it willies or wellies!!!!!. And 40 is not old at all, you are just growing into your life which will get better and better.
Wishing you a very creative New Year.
Happy New Year Jen!
Can I have willies in wellies? It would get 2009 off to a brilliant start…
Mya x
Carol – I like the idea of growing into the people we’re supposed to be. I’m mesmerized by the gap in who we are and who people think we are though. It’s tantalisingly deceptive. 2009 is going to be interesting for all of us, I think. I know you’re sad to be leaving Thailand but I’m rather thrilled that you’re going to be on the same continent as me.
Sheepish – Thank you, I’ll take the willies AND wellies. Well, I live in the countryside. Can’t be too careful and being disappointed because of a typo would be awful. Wishing you a peaceful 2009, with love and happiness. xx
Mya – Girl, willies in wellies has your name on it. Get in there!
I’m pretty late. But you still have time to make your teacher’s predictions come true
From a B who is still working on TMA2. And panicking. A very lot. Because she can’t do this. But she has no choice. Midnight Friday, here I come…..