Of Time and its Terrible Trickiness January 25, 2009
Posted by Jen in : Journal , 27 commentsThere’s a time and a place for everything, right? Of course, some things are more important than others. When would be the right time, for example, to realise that you’re not really a ‘fringe’ sort of person? You may not know the answer to that but rest assured, dear reader, I do. I can confidently tell you that the time to realise you are not a fringe person is 45 seconds after all your hair has been lopped off in a bid to try new style with fringe. Bloody Nora.
There was a time, some time ago, when I used to make an effort. In previous workly incarnations, I used to spruce myself up good ‘n’ proper every day: foundation, anti-shine powder, lip liner, lipstick, eye liner and eye shadow and mascara and brow gel… you get the idea. Now? Pfffff. A dollop of tinted moisturiser, quick slick of lip gloss and some spit on my little finger to tame eyebrows. Even so, time being the tricky bugger it is, I’m still late for work every day. I’ve run out of excuses, not that I had the time to think of any good ones anyway.
“I know I’m proper late but I smell quite nice,” was one of my recent weak efforts.
The trouble is, despite getting up at between 5.30 and 6am every day, there are just too many things to fascinate me before I finally dab some drool on my face and head to work. There’s usually a good reason for my late-beingness: reading the whole of the internet; being swept away with conversations between people who only exist in my head; watching the sky in the hope that a rainbow will appear. I think it’s fair to say, bosses are not programmed to understand such flim-flammery.
The trouble is, I do not think I can exist in a world without tardy rainbows and flim-flammery.
As I drove home from my Tunbridge Wells Toni & Guy experience on Thursday evening, I considered that my boss is really rather ace. I’d arrived late (a promising sky, you see) and insisted on leaving early due to hair-cutting appointment. I’d been surprised by the fact that it was, apparently, almost a year since my last haircut. Time, you see? Sneaky sod. I considered that I’d had whole year’s worth of hair eliminated and now resemble Eli Dingle in drag. I pulled up outside the house at 8pm. I felt sort of groovy, being out in the dark like a grown-up.
No. 1 Son was scraping the remains of his self-cooked pasta into the bin. ‘Oh, you’re back then. What’s wrong with your hair?’
I tried to flick my fringe away. ‘Oh, just been for my yearly spruce-up’.
He shook his head despairingly. ‘Don’t you worry about us. I cooked dinner. God, you’re just like Kerry Katona.’
Time to get new children, perhaps? I don’t understand time but I do know one thing. I really need more of it at the moment if I’m ever going to be any sort of writer.
Of Perpetual Pimping January 16, 2009
Posted by Jen in : Writing Bits , 25 commentsI would be most grateful indeed if someone could enlighten me as to how it can possibly be mid-January already. Christmas is long gone and the year’s well and truly off its starting blocks. Me? Well, I seem to have accomplished bugger all so far.
Ok, so I’m still fiddling about with Inspiral Daze which has rather bizarrely led me to wandering about in the pre-dawn dark with my camera and a jar of marmalade. But I’m enjoying obsessing about it, enjoying having something ticking in my Brian whilst the ordinariness of ‘real life’ carries on without me. I have also written the Coffee Morning post for the jolly marvelous Novel Racers which is tricky when others have written such good and proper writerly posts. Me? I’ve ended up rambling on about shapely scenes and how my next novel will be shaped like Diana Dors. Marmalade and Diana Dors. Yes, I think that just about sums up my creative achievement so far this year.
But. When the image of Diana Dors popped into my head, I thought I should link to her, for the young ‘uns who may not remember her. And foreign people. Oh God, are we still allowed to say ‘foreign’? I do lose track of what’s acceptable. Anyway. I read about her here on Wikipedia. What a fascinating life; you couldn’t make it up. And it has given me an idea for the next novel; an obsession for one of my lead characters.
So there you are. Marmalade, starlets and An Idea. That’s not bad for mid-January after all, is it?
Of Sunday Sucking-Up January 11, 2009
Posted by Jen in : Journal , 15 commentsYes, it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Well, you might not have been I suppose. After all my bluster and invitations for help in my last post, I did indeed set up a new blog. And gave it a name, based on your suggestions and votes. I just forgot to tell you about it.
Anyway. Its name? Inspired by both Zinnia and Lane, I give you… Inspiral Daze… Nope, I have no idea what it means either. Never mind, eh? As with any newborn, it’s a bit bare and still doesn’t know who it is. But it’s just kind of an experiment… and hopefully it will, as time goes by, generate the occasional non-numptyish nugget. But it might not. You don’t have to read it or anything. But it would make me all fuzzy-wuzzy if you did. Probably. It doesn’t take much to get me going.
I have to watch Dancing on Ice now. I don’t usually watch trashy telly* but Graeme le Saux is on it. And I used to sit next to him in Geography ‘O’ level. So I am watching to make amends for thinking that he was really boring at school because he just played footie all the time. How was I supposed to know he’d go and get all famous? I’d have let him be my boyfriend if I’d thought that.
* Ok, so I do watch trashy telly. You caught me out. Man, you’re good.
A Post with No Name (broken brain to blame) January 2, 2009
Posted by Jen in : Journal , 33 commentsGosh. 2009. January 2nd. I did start to write a blog post yesterday but was accidentally waylaid by a roasting lamb and a vat of Fleurie. New Year’s Day is not the day to turn over the new leaf. It is, in my opinion, the best day of the whole Christmas shebang, a day fizzling and whizzing with promise and possibility.
Today, unfortunately, reality comes crashing in like a bore at a party. I’m not so keen on reality, if the truth be known. Or getting dressed. Or thinking about how many calories I’ve consumed and having to dig out my calorie-documenting pencil. Still, it was fun while it lasted.
Resolutions? Hmmmm. To get some writing ‘out there’ this year, once this OU course has finished. To become luscious rather than lush-like. Um… to set up a new blog with a haiku and photograph to mark each day. Kind of a crossbreed between Rachel’s When the Dogs Bite, the charming Three Beautiful Things and Lucy’s elegantly understated Out With Mol. Due to the aforementioned wine-consumption, however, I find myself unable to think of a name for this new blog.
Trusting you as I do, dear reader, I turn to you to think up a name for this new endeavour. The winner will get a prize. I’m not sure what that prize is yet, I’m a bit weak in the head this morning. Sorry. You’ll have to decide on that yourself too. On word of advice on the choosing of your prize: I am poor and cannot make things with my hands, the phrase ‘Go, Pig!’ having been coined for me by my beloved offspring due to my trotter-like clumsy fingers. Makes a change from ‘Monkey Hands’ I suppose. Bloody sods. Little darlings.
If you are not too busy conjuring up the name of my new blog, please do have a magical New Year. I suspect it’s going to be interesting and redefining for many of us and I, for one, can’t wait.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
