Of Liberal Liberation May 2, 2009
Posted by Jen in : Journal , trackbackLife’s a bit doolally sometimes, isn’t it? I have been moaning for quite some time about approaching 40 (approx. 40 years, prolly). But a friend of mine convinced me that this would be liberating. Just how true her prediction would be, I had no idea.
Now, you may remember how my very eyelashes ached at the thought of moving into The Cul de Sac. But now I am not going to live here anymore. Hurrah! And lovely bf has been re-named and shall be known henceforth as lovely non-bf. Yes, May will find me 40, single for the first time in many years and living in the village I originally lusted over when I first moved to Blighty. See? Doolally. Told you. But strangely serendipitous. I am smiling. Lovely non-bf and I have plucked that fabulous and rare thing out of our time together: great friendship. And this is most marvellous – free technical support true friendship is important in life. This is the best break-up I’ve ever had – a right laugh, on the whole.
So. There will be less pants to wash and more time for writing. And I will not have to cultivate my Cul de Sac sensibleness any more. Instead I shall become a saggy old spinster. I shall also buy a mountain bike and bicycle about whilst wearing a funny hat. Besides, while the world looks like this, how can life be anything other than brilliant?
But before I move to my favourite village which just happens to also contain my favouritest pub, there is the small matter of my OU course to complete. A meagre 4,000 words to eek out then polish with some spit and the sleeve of my pyjamas. So worry not. The usual angst and misery will re-commence soon.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Rye to get beautified in preparation for my birthday on Monday. As you can imagine, I may be some time… In the meanwhile, I will leave you with this song which I have chosen as my ‘Life Begins at 40’ soundtrack. Click. Listen. Hum uncontrollably. Yeah! and Raaaaaaah!
Comments»
You sound very chilled about the whole thing, which is excellent and I’m very pleased you’re moving to your favouritetest pub. May I recommend a tricorn hat for maximum eccentricity?
Enjoy your beautification and subsequent birthday
Bugger? Ex-BF, bugger? Being 4O, double bugger? Alcohol chills the mind methinks so e enjoy a boozy-woozy birthday! TFx
Taking a positive spin on life events is to be commended, and can only feel happy to read about your move to said favorite village and favouritest pub.
As for bicycles and funny hats, just promise me one thing, don’t turn into Miss Marple ;o)
Oh Jen, will you join the WI in your new village? Grow marrows and petunias for the village fete?
Much love to you sweetie. I hope Monday is wonderful.
xx
Keep positive – being past the big 4 0 is brilliant I can assure as I’ve done it and life has only improved.
Enjoy the beautification and the big day.
lx
Being 40 isn’t as scary as it sounds! If I can do it anyone can x and it all sounds really positive Honey. Great news about the move.
I’m going to be 40 in a couple of months. I’m rather looking forward to it.
But anyway, this has to be the most upbeat break-up description I’ve ever come across. Rah indeed! And how nice for you to have escaped from Cul de Sac and moved into a long-coveted village! With a pub!
Oh, to be a spinster in a village with a pub. And are those bluebells actual real bluebells in a location near you? I live in the city, where bluebells are scarce. I do have blue walls though. I like my blue walls.
Like JJ, I think you should eat petunias and keep marrows in a vase on your windowsill. That would be most excellent.
How come all the people who comment on your blog think up such witty things to say? Are they all as naturally gifted as you or do they sit for ages trying to think something up? Should I be worried about never being quite able to cut the mustard comments-wise?
Anyway…erm, good luck with the move, and happy birthday. That’s the best I can do.
I was terrified about being 40 (I started lying about my age when I was 23). When I hit the bit 4 0, everyone knew my age, so there was no point in pretending any more. Or as my sister so kindly said, “Surely it’s better for people to think you look good at 40, than have them think you’re a decrepid looking 30 something? She’s always been a delight.
I loved being single, and had a ball. I only gave it all up because I met R who was so fab, otherwise I would have happily remained as I was. (Does that sound a little confusing, I am rather confuzzed this morning/afternoon/whatever it is).
Love the pic, and laughed at the cartoon, so good.
Enjoy the pampering, and hope you have a great birthday.
You did it. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’m sure it’ll work out for the both of us:)
I wouldn’t know if it’s scary turning 40 or not, being the youngling that I am (rubbing it in there! ha!), but rest assured you don’t look 40.
Village life sounds lovely. And being next to your favourite pub could only be the icing on the (birthday) cake.
I hope you have the best birthday on Monday.
P.S. I love that song. It’s so you! lol!
wow. i’ve never heard anyone describe a breakup as a right laugh before. i’m in awe.
*hugs*, just in case you have a wobbly moment and need them – but HAPPY BIRTHDAY and i’m glad you’re doing so well and have moved somewhere you love!
anyway, you only have 3000 words to write. you already did 1000 as TMA6. that’s MUCH easier (hollow laughs resound around the interwebs).
Wowsers lady! Hope you are okay and it is, indeed, okay. Those bluebells are delicious, village life also sounds delicious and enjoy your deliciousifying.
OMG you are going to turn into Agatha Raisin! And then people will start dropping dead around you and a crusty but attractive bachelor will move in next door but you wont’ notice because you will be too busy buying cakes from Fortnums so you can cheat in the WI baking contest! Or something.
Anyway, I am not sure whether to give you congratulations or condolences given how chipper you are so I will simply say that I hope there are not too many corpses in your dream village.
Happy birthday, life is good at 40+
Glad you still have a great friendship with bf, and hope you are as okay as you sound. You’ll do fab with your ECA – you is very clever!
Happy Birthday! x
Happy Birthday, 40 is not so bad, honest. And congratulations on achieving a civilised break up, something I could never quite manage.
Now get writing, then you’ll be able to really enjoy the village life
Cx
Have a very happy birthday on Monday (bank holiday!) – a friendship is a great thing to get instead of angst-ridden nastiness. As for the OU course – we are almost there… I have 25 minutes of film to write (haven’t done anything yet) and then we are free! Will you be doing any more OU? I have one more course after this and then I have another degree …
Wow, a very friendly breakup is a very rare thing indeed so cherish it (sounds like you are – free tech support is worth its weight in chocolate!). And great news about moving to the village.Looking forward to hearing about the characters who live there.
Tam – Chilled? Oh yes. A Tricorn hat? Yeah, why not? I would have to wear it with a big floppy daisy sellotaped to the side though.
TF – Alcohol, of course! I shall force some down, rest assured…
Ian – Ooh, ooh! Yes! I could get a wicker basket to go on the front of my mountain bike and people would point and laugh but I wouldn’t care because I would be old a potty and, besides, my funny hat would cover my eyes so that I would not know about said laughing and pointing. Oh yes. Life really does begin at 40, I can see that now…
JJ – Maybe I should set up an an alternative version of the WI? Now doesn’t that sound like a glorious premise for a potential novel? Watch this space!
Liz – Life does just get better as you get older I think? Especially since the eyesight goes in tandem with the increase in wrinkles. Mother Nature is a clever old bird, isn’t she?
Helen – You will have to come visit – I will warn the favouritest pub to stock up!
Beleaguered – Akshully, I will be a spinster in a village with three pubs. I know. I feel quite faint at the very thought. Pass the Milk Thistle. Eat petunias? Marrows in a vase? I like the way your mind works, Ms Squirrel. I like it vay much.
Honeysuckle – *Looks around furtively* They are all a bit clever, innit? I swear the comments on the blog are better than the posts. But I don’t think anyone’s noticed. Shhhh. Our little secret, ok?
Debs – Your sister has the right idea. I’ve really no idea why so much importance is put on turning 40. But it seems to be a marking point in my life so what the hell! Any excuse for a knees-up eh? (Inserted Jersey ‘eh’ there for you, did you notice?!)
Youngling Paige – Oh, things always turn out the way they’re supposed to. I really believe that. And we will both be happy because a) we deserve it and b) it’s written on t’blog and therefore must be true. Isn’t that tune fab? I’m grooving baby. Oh yeah.
b – Oh, I can hear that laugh… it has seeped into my very soul. Today I will write words. I will. And then I will send them to you and will be able to hear you shaking your head through the interwebs as you consider my folly in writing 4,000 words in 20 minutes (inc. time to pour plentiful VodkaTonics). *Sigh*
MissT – it is indeed all quite delicious and in a non-fattening way which is, I’m sure you will agree, the best flavour of delicious there is?
Loth – Could I maybe be Agatha Rum ‘n’ Raisin? That would be jolly good. And a crusty old bachelor? Ooh, he sounds my type already. Or even the corpse will do me if I get lonely – I could have him stuffed and sit him in an empty armchair… he’d look great next to the marrows in a vase wouldn’t he? I could dress him in a green jumper to colour co-ordinate things?
Uphilldowndale – I really believe it does. And at least it’ll give me something else to moan about. Yay!
Mandy – I is ok! I really am. Which is more than can be said for the ECA. Is torture that I’m on the borderline for an A so really need to submit something good. Aaaarrrgh. Etc.
Cathy – I will be a writing machine this morning, I really will. Civilised is recommended. Not as exciting as drama but produces less grey hairs. So that’s good then.
Kate – We really are almost there, aren’t we? Yep, two more courses for me… A210 Lit then Words and Music. Will life be the same without the addictive misery of the OU d’you think? Good luck with yours – now you get writing too!
Cal – It is a rare thing. I was going to type that it’s because he is rarely nice but that’s not quite right is it?! And if I did type that, he would delete my blog and then my tales of the new villagers would drift hopelessly in the ether without their own home…
Happy birthday for Monday. Apologies if I don’t get time to get over here and say it to you on the day! Gorgeous photo of that wooded glade. The rest of your post just confused me…Single? non bf? I am so not ‘with it’ over here…
‘eek out’ – love it! I think you are very, very clever arranging for your 40th birthday to fall on a Bank Holiday. Live begins at 40, you know. Which means I’m nearly five.
How *you* doin’ ?
How wonderful to have gained a male friend. They are hens’ teeth rare. And the bluebell wood. How it will inspire and your writing will shine even more. And forty(?) Ha, I laugh at your ‘forty’ You are a child. Wait until you’re a grown up fifty like me.
Have a fabulous birthday, Jen! All sorts of adventures on the horizon, I’m sure.
Your liberal liberation sounds wonderful indeed. It will be fab to live where you really want to be.
Happy Birthday on Monday. There’s nowt scary about being 40. Besides, an author bio with Spiral Skies (40) has much more gravitas than Spiral Skies (39) don’t you think?:-)
That tune makes me feel right jolly – good anthem! That photo’s gorgeous too.
Now, as you know I’ve a loooong way to go before reaching the big 4 0 (!) but I’m sure that what with moving to a favourite village and sourcing floppy hats and getting novels published, you’re going to be FAR too busy being fabulous to even notice.
Have a lovely, lovely birthday
)
Yep, tis written on blog so therefore it’s true! I like that!
P.S. I think that Captain Somebody or Other is trying to chat you up Joey-style! You better watch out!
I already cycle about wearing a funny hat and can highly recommend it. Congratulations on your newfound singularity and enduring friendship with lovely non-bf. xxxxxxxxxx
Not many minutes left of your birthday, but here I am, late as ever, to wish you a happy one.
Sorry to hear about the lovely non-bf. I always think things will turn out as they are supposed to too – jobs, houses, boys…but lots of hugs to you anyway, just because. x
I’ve done A210 already (and enjoyed it!) – am thinking either 20th Century or Children’s Literature for my final course…
Hope you had a fab day on Monday Jen and congrats on writing about a break up and still making me laugh?! How’d ya do that?! Big hugs just in case you’re full of bravado and will really miss the non bf? And big hugs if you wont. Big hugs anyway. Fx
Sounds marvellous! Enjoy the village, the pub, singledom and friendships!
Hope you had great birthday. I am dreading my big 4 0 later this year. You have obviously managed to hit a rich vein of being sensible and philosophical – perhaps mine will arrive imminently. Take care.
All sounds good. Being 40 certainly is and I loved being single.
DJ – Not being ‘with it’ is fine… erm… to explain. Once upon a time, I had a lovely boyfriend. Now I don’t. So he is my lovely non-boyfriend. Yes, I think that sums it up?
Queenie – You don’t look a day over 4, you really don’t! Arranging it for the Bank Hol was proper clever, wasn’t it? Back to the non-drinking me now. Hic!
Hey Cap’n… what’s up? ;0)
Fia – I do not think you are growed up at all. But this being 40 lark is ok so far. Very ok, in fact.
Maddie – Adventures ahoy! I do hope so. Might need a little sleep before I leap upon them though.
Lane – You are a mathematical genius. Shame the even numbers sound older than the odd ones though. Could you do something about that?
Karen – I bloomin love that tune, it’s just so oomphy! I think the Queen should have it instead of the National Anthem?
Paige – You think? He’s a right one, that Cap’n Black. Will be keeping my eye on him!
Hulla – You see? You are my role model without me even knowing it. How very ace is that?!
Helen – Aw, thanks for the hugs. They are quite delicious. COuld I have another with jam on?
Kate – Ooh, I’ll deffo do it then if you enjoyed it… We will probably still be moaning about OU in 100 years!
Fionnuala – Oh, really not full of bravado but I will miss him. I mean, I’ll have to put the bins out myself and everything!
Clair – I will! At least it’ll give me something to blog about!
Featherduster – Don’t dread it! Being forty is fab, honest! I declare that you will love it immensely!
Thursday – It’s all good! Hurrah!
Jenny, this is such a lovely post! Beautiful pic, song and cartoon too! I had a major breakup just before I turned 40 and I did not handle it with such positivity and grace – I bawled my head off for years – but my first novel did come out of that bad time! The gent and I are now years later trying to retrieve some semblance of the transcendent friendship we used to share. So, good on ya for being so grown up about things!
Adios, cul-de-sac! Hello life, beauty, singleness and special pubby place! Your adventures have just begun! (And watch out for that Captain feller, y’hear?)
PS: Life after 40 is good – once you get over the shock of it!
Life after 40 is most excellent. Keeping fingers crossed for life after 50. Well done you for moving towards a good life for yourself. No doubt you’ll come to the attention of the villages eligible bachelors. Just stay away from the cads and the bounders … whatever they look like these days!
Happy Birthday, lovey, and I’m smiling for you.
(Because I know more wine is going to be involved.)
Happy Birthday hon….I hope you have a wonderful boozy day and Yay to moving from the cul-de-sac into the Village where you are free to be your lovely eccentric self!!
C x
Don’t you have lovely commenters? I like your comment boxes, they have a lazy-coffee-in-the-afternoon feel about them, with all these nice people popping in and out and waving at each other.
I hope your birthday was even lovelier than your comments box. I notice you’re reading On Chesil Beach? I just read that, and loved it. The way he takes the minutiae of people and interactions and relationships apart, by examining just one short people-based trauma… so simple but so deep… inspired me to write something similar, and now I’m all frustrated cos other stuff is getting in the way of me doing so.
Liane – Oh, a terrible break-up is fine if it inspires some good writing! But I’m thinking ‘nice’ is better. Although it doesn’t give me anything spiteful to blog about. Maybe I could make something up..? And yes, I’m keeping my eye on that Cap’n!
McBobo – You are truly an inspiration in making a happy life. Ugh, that sounded a bit American didn’t it? (Sorry Americans. You know what I mean though.) Cads & bounders? They come dressed as estate agents these days I think… (sorry estate agents, etc.)
Leigh – Thanks me luvverly… wine? what’s that? erm…
Carol – yay, eccentricity. Or maybe I’ll become more sensible, just on purpose like. Yay! Village! I will be a village people, oh yes I will. *Sings in a jolly fashion*
Beleagured – I love my blog friends, I really do. You’re right, it really is like a coffee afternoon, all lazy and smiley. You fit in nicely, by the way. Did you bring biscuits? I bloody loved On Chesil Beach, and for the very reasons that you did… have bought everything of his Waterstones Tunbridge Wells had to offer and am going to submerge myself in all things McEwen once this writing wotsit is out of the way. I sooooo want to be able to write like that.
Why, of course I brought biscuits: Fox’s Favourites. And maybe some of those Olde Country Granny Knows Best How to Charge a Fortune For Biscuits jobbies in the white cardboard tray with the selophane cover, from the garage. Butterscotch flavour.
Life is so much less without biscuits. Although I confess the reason I hadn’t mentioned them before is cos they were in my always-bulging handbag, and seeing as nobody had asked me for any I was hoping I could munch the whole lot myself when nobody was looking.
Hi hope you had a great birthday, just wish I could remember what it’s like to be 40!!!!!!!!!!! Also all the best for your forthcoming move out of the ‘orrible cul de sac. Looking forward to your next post as an old gimmer. Have you taken delivery of the zimmer frame yet?
Wow!
A deerstalker, that’s be quite wacky…
So glad you’re smiling and thriving.
Beleaguered – I think it wise to hide the biccies in your handbag. I think I may have faled for those Tunnocks Caramel doodahs with the Christmassy golf and red wrappers? They look like treasure, nestled in one’s handbag…
Sheepish – Zimmer frame? Oh, if only you knew how right you were…
Lucy- Ooh, yes, a deerstalker with a daisy fixed on. Coolio.