Of Splendid Serendipity (and Sprawled Out at Square One) January 9, 2010
Posted by Jen in : Bit of a Mid-Life Crisis, Journal, Novel , trackbackWell then. Did I mention that Novel 2 will be jigging about in the little-known genre of Philosophical Comedy? The only laugh so far is that, as you will see (eyes right, if you please) the word count is now back to zero. But that’s ok. Until this morning, I had the setting, some dizzy but delectable dialogue and a handful of charming characters. Sadly, the characters were all wandering about with torches strapped to their heads in search of the missing plot. If editing means killing your darlings, I’ve just beheaded all mine and stuck ‘em out in the snow to decompose slowly but gruesomely.
Bizarrely, as I read an early email today from An Unassuming Artist which mentioned Scott’s Antarctic adventures, I clicked on a song in iTunes that I’d never heard before. I’ve no idea where it even came from. The song is now adopted as the theme song for when the novel becomes a film. Here you go… a song about Columbus and following your dreams… it’s pretty much what the novel’s about. I think. Er… sort of. Fictional adventures will be better than the real ones I’m currently craving. Plus I won’t have to go outside ever again. Anyway, the song has inspired me. So there.
In other serendipitous news, one of my New Year resolutions, since you were probably wondering, is to spend less money on food. Ok, we do like to eat well and love our treats and I do have two teens but, between the three of us, we’re munching through one hundred and fifty Great British pounds a week. I mentioned the new economy drive to Son 1.
‘I’m assuming there’ll be less buying of wine,’ he replied, employing the use of sardonic eyebrow positioning. Bloody sod.
The weather, however, has meant that we’ve had to exist for a week now on what we already had in store. There has been no M&S indulgency. Instead, I’ve thanked my lucky stars that I bought a whole lamb from my lovely boss last year which went from farm to my freezer in less than a day. I felt like a proper hardcore country girl that day, I tell you. I won’t confess of course that I *had* to check with him that it would be ‘chopped up’. I had visions of it crammed into the chest freezer like a stuffed toy, its legs poking out and its gentle eyes staring up at me in surprise. Instead of giving the dog the remains of a leg of lamb, I’m positively yearning for Leftover Lamb Biryani. Balti paste has changed my life forever. Who knew?
The barmy weather has also hooked me out of routine. I read in one of my hippy books, several years ago, that it’s important not to do the same things in the same way every day. If you have to take the same dog-walking route, walk it from finish to start instead. It’s amazing how different the world looks the other way round. Seriously, you should try it.
Right then. Back to the novel writing. Buying a camper van for storyline research purposes and inadvertent adventures? No, I’m not even thinking about that. Honest. Not much, anyway. Ahem.
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I find it absolute rubbish that the entire country would come to a standstill when other countries have no problem scraping the roads off and keeping the post running and the milk and wine flowing. I’m sorry to hear that you are in such a predicament. Here’s hoping your weather clears soon.
Carrie, shhhhhh. Don’t tell anyone but I secretly like a predicament. It appeals to my inner drama queen. Ok, so there’s no wine but the conservatory with its ice on the inside of the windows means the vodka’s feeling just right.
I hope you didn’t actually delete the whole thing but have kept those characters/delectable dialogue etc etc for use at another time! Nothing’s wasted …
Also – if you had the characters, that’s a crucial starting point, but only a start. Instead of trying to come up with a plot at this stage, why not give them a conflict and see how they react and where that takes you?
Works for me anyway ….
As an arch-pedant, I know Scott got lost but he never went to the Arctic – he probably never got North of Scotland.
Still, good luck with the new novel – the virtual murders you committed might just give you some inspiration. Oh, and never cut back on the wine
So you’re less an author and more an authoring mass murderer of innocent plotless characters. Given a certain lack of directionality in many people’s lives, you might be a slightly dangerous woman!
Debi – It’s all still there in the original word doc. The main character will remain, along with her dodgy dialogue. I think it was the conflict that was missing actually – it was all too clean cut which subsequently meant the plot was lacking. Or something. I’ve been missing out the stepping stone, it seems. Ta love, you just made it much clearer.
Mike – Scott of the Arctic? Oh, I see what you mean. But the pentameter worked better that way. Can’t I just adjust history to make it more poetic? Scott of Scotland? Oh I don’t know. Have a changed it now. Grrrrr. Send wine. SEND WINE! And whatever happened to your blog, hmmmm?
Bobo – You’d be amazed at the crimes I can commit with a pointy icicle…
So as you’ve saved this week you can spend a little more next week? Or does that defeat the object?
But my life’s always the wrong way round. Maybe I’m trying too hard?
Like what Debi said. Good like with the plot – it always trips me up.
lx
I like the idea of doing things the opposite way round each day, maybe I should try that with my books too.
I think I need to kill a few darlings too, but where to start.
Can’t get rid of image of legs poking out of freezer now! Slightly scared of my freezer. Things go in, time speeds up and they become years out of date in the blink of an eye. Never venture near the back, something might grab your hand…
Philosophical comedy, I’m intrigued. My characters have reached the stage where they’re shouting at me rather a lot. ‘I don’t seem to have any friends, you’ve no idea what my dreams are, didn’t I start out with blonde hair?’ Maybe I should follow your example.
oooh you’re so brave. I’m such a word hoarder. I do hope the characters find the plot soon. I must try that walking thing – not just walking (I could do with it) but the back to front thing. I do that with magazines.
Philosophical comedy, me likey the sound of this VERY much indeed
Now, it’s a well known fact (well in my book it is) that visual art (esp. photography) is far more superior to that of the written word! (Alright calm down I’m only joking) Thought you might be interested in hearing about the “With Scott to the Pole” a photographic exhibition being held in the “net curtain county” of Surrey. Check out http://www.guildfordhouse.co.uk for further info
the crimes you can commit with a pointy icicle? it’s a great weapon, as long as you leave it somewhere warm to melt afterwards. no chance of someone waving it at you in court later.
glad you’ve not junked the entire lot. enjoy the writing xx
I too fantasise about a camper van. Not sure it’ll ever come true, though – they cost a FORTUNE!!!
I used to love Lindisfarne!! Still do.
Never had you down as an M & S girl…
I laughed out loud at the image of your characters decomposing before they even made the grade…! Sorry. I know how excurciating it is to start again so good luck. I’ll watch your space for the new climbing word count. Fx
I do that – walking the dog the wrong way round, for a change of scenery. Well actually it’s the same scenery but on the left instead of the right but still – we’re easily pleased.
Had to laugh (but not cruelly) at Novel 2 fizzling out before it had even begun. I hope your characters find the plot soon and start being philosophically humorous – I want to read it, damn you
)
ps – I’m a bit scared of Carrie Clevenger …
But I don’t think I can run backwards!!!! And I think the camper van for research purposes sounds brilliant, I may just have a word with the OH and see what he thinks. And I’m always losing the plot so don’t let that worry you.lol!
Helen – That’s not quite the idea. Then it becomes like calories when you’re bad one day and mean to be good the next which never *quite* happens…
HelenH – Living a back to front life sounds funky. Perhaps you need to be upside down too?
Liz – Plot’s a bugger, isn’t it? More on that in the next blog post. Probably.
Debs – D’you think there’s a special Character Heaven where all the killed darlings end up, lamenting their lack of a story?
Denise – There’s all manner of scary ancient stuff in my freezer, much of which No. 1 Son ate during our time of snowy famine. ‘It was only dated November,’ he said. Shame he didn’t think you look at the year! Characters are rotters when they start shouting at us. Shame they can’t do something useful like the hoovering.
Lily – I suppose the back to front thing just means that you see the same things from a different angle. I think that’s important for writing?
TF – I want to visit Net Curtain County. I will photograph the nets and put them in an exhibition and people will have to wear nets on their heads and everything will be all fuzzy wuzzy. Yes. Will investigate the Scott one in the meantime.
Beth – Perhaps the icicle could be wielded if the rozzers start to employ snowmen during these times of recession. Not much use in Summer, granted, but no one’s naughty then, they’re all having a lovely time in the sun.
Queenie – Let’s not think about the cost. Lust has nothing to do with practicality.
Honeysuckle – I’m not just any old bird, I’m an M&S bird. Nah, I don’t buy ready meals but they do have my very fave Roast Ham crisps. Delish and, er, not fattening at all?
Fionnuala – Decomposing characters – makes them sound like zombies, all staggering about with bits of their bodies missing where the plot went wonky. Talking of which, I must make some sarnies for the teens.
Karen – Novel 2 will rise phoenix-like from the ashes of despair, oh yes it will. It is rising… RISING! Er…
Sheepish – Oh, bless your silly woolly sheep brain. The opposite way round. Not *actual* running backwards in a Basil Fawlty style. Has OH granted your camper van wish yet?
There is an award over at mine for you
C x
Carol – Aw, ta! Loving the new look of your blog!