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Six Quick Quirks January 31, 2008

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 20 comments

I’ve been tagged. Not by the police, of course; always one step ahead of the law, me. Tagged, in actual fact, by Liz and Sarah and Angie. I know, too many ‘ands’ but it makes me feel more popular than a shorter list with commas.

So. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

  1. I had some cold Shepherds Pie for breakfast today. I didn’t have wine with it though.

  2. I am too scared to go to coffee shops on my own. I have never done it, ever, even though I really want to. I panic: do I wait for the coffee or do they bring it over? What if I wait and get the coffee and then there’s nowhere to sit? There just seem to be too many things that could go terribly wrong.

  3. I am rather rubbish at supermarket shopping. I can only buy what I fancy eating that very day which means the pantry’s always empty except for dog food and out-of-date muesli that I clearly do not fancy very much at all.

  4. I never fancy film stars/pop stars/celebrities. This, I believe, is due to two traumatic incidents in my childhood: a) My heartless mother ripping down my beloved David Soul poster when she was in a rage about something or other (but which David Soul was probably not responsible for). b) Discovering that the super-duper Nick Beggs from KajaGooGoo was a Christian and therefore unlikely to want to marry a 13-year-old schoolgirl.

  5. Erm… I am never, ever on time for anything. If I actually leave home before I’m supposed to arrive wherever I’m going, I think I’m doing quite well. I’m not. Obviously.

  6. At primary school, I came last in every sporting event on every single occasion. The only exception to this rule was a running race on Sports Day when I was 10. I was nearly crying with joy to be only second-last until I saw that Sarah Skittrall had fallen down a molehole. I was really glad she was in the hole. I’m still glad.

I’m sure everyone has already done this. I’m, um, a little late with it…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_HyS94O2h0

Of Staggering Statistics January 6, 2008

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 23 comments

According to The Week, ‘of the 86,000 new books published last year, as many as 58,000 sold just 18 copies on average.’

That can’t be right, can it?

Sigh. Maybe I’ll take up juggling instead. Or sausage-growing. Creative sheep shearing, perhaps?


Of Hardy Histories November 26, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal , 8 comments

You know, I never used to be interested in history. It was just stuff, old fashioned nonsense that didn’t matter anymore. But I’m beginning to be intrigued by change, now that I’m becoming something of a relic myself.

Yesterday, I stood shivering in the porch of a village church, waiting to go and play some Bach. Yes, I know, some would say I’m Bach-ing every day. Anyway. In this church porch was a man we’ll call ‘Lance’, for that is indeed his name. Now Lance is proper old, with snowy hair, stooped shoulders and a Sunday-best suit. As a boy, he used to attend the service in that chilly church every week.

He smiled and whispered to us:

‘My mother entertained us during sermons by making rabbits out of her handkerchief. And my grandmother’s hat, bearing in mind this was Edwardian times, was too big to fit through the doors but she always refused to take it off.’

I wonder how it must feel to go back to a place that I’d visited in Edwardian times, a place that looks and smells and feels the same. It has made me feel sort of insignificant, an inconsequential speck in the story of time. Perhaps I’ll start carrying a handkerchief and being a little more dignified. Or perhaps not. Times have, sadly, changed.

I seem to have spent the first half of my life not really understanding what’s important but quite glad that I’ve discovered the bits that are. Just need to figure out how to put the missing bits into action now before my history is all wrong.


 


Name-driven Nonsense November 17, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 16 comments

Hurrah. Just as my brain had drained, Kate tagged me. Thank the Lord for that.

“List one fact, word or tidbit that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your first or middle name. You can theme it to your blog or make it general. Then tag one person for each letter of your name.”

J – Jollification. You can’t beat a good laugh. One of the things I like most about lovely bf is that we really are very similarly spazzy in our sense of humour. One of the best things ever is when you meet someone randomly who is on the same chortling wavelength. And I’m going to see Sean Lock tomorrow. I mean, I’m not just going to turn up at his house or anything. He’s doing a gig. In Tunbridge Wells. Ahem. That’s Royal Tunbridge Wells to you.

E – Eggs. I really like eggs. They’re very nice. I wouldn’t want to be one though.

N – Nervousness. Despite being outwardly gregarious, I am terribly scared of meeting people. I always like the idea of ‘other people’ but have been known to take to my bed in the manner of a fainting Victorian at the thought of socialising with strangers. What if I wear the wrong clothes, or I’m too noisy, or I drink too much and am sick, or if everyone is a zillion times cleverer than me and they think I’m gormless? Luckily, despite all those things having happened, the strangers are always politer than me too and kind enough not to mention my shortcomings before pudding.

N – Nitwittery. This is clearly my speciality. At a drunken dinner party, the menfolk were discussing, for some reason, whether they would sleep with any of the others’ women. (Needless to say, the women were in the kitchen at this point. Or doing tapestry. Something like that.) I came out bottom of the list. “She’s just not really all there, is she?” said Anonymous Bloke. “I mean, you’d want to look after her, not shag her.” Sigh. Didn’t fancy him anyway.

Y – Yakking. I do love a good natter. Being of the butterfly-brained variety, there’s no end of nonsense I can either spout or tolerate. I miss being able to bump into old school friends and catch up on spurts of gossip. This is something that has been bothering me lately. But. I happened upon a friend I haven’t seen for over a year in the corner shop yesterday. And she’s coming for coffee in a minute. I hope I’m wearing the right clothes and that she doesn’t think I’ve become short or spazzy. Sigh.

So, I’m supposed to tag five peoples but that smacks of favouritism. I think you should all do it. Go on, I dare you.


Literal Confession September 30, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 15 comments

I usually quite like being tagged for memes so I thought some jolly thoughts when JJ tagged me for a booky one. And then I looked at my bookshelves and flushed with shame. Oh, bugger - why aren’t I highbrow and clever and learned? My shelves overflow with books on cookery, meditation, Reiki, poetry, writing, grammar – where are my weighty tomes of classics? Oh dear… confession time…

Total number of books

Um… a few hundred, I guess. I really am a book junkie but I can’t bear to leave fab books on the shelf. When I’ve particularly loved a book, I tend to pass it on to someone I hope will enjoy it as much as I did. ‘In Search of Adam’ has just winged (wung?) its way to my sis in Holland. At least that always means there’s room on the bookshelves for more. I really should join the library but then there’s always the worry that I’ll dunk their books in the bath or, even worse, someone else has read the book in the bath, equally naked. The ‘old lady’ smell of library books is also off-putting too. Ugh.


Last book read

Oh God, I’m awful. Once I’ve finished a book, that’s it – gone from memory! Kate Harrison’s The Self-Preservation Society was a recent one that I enjoyed (and remember!). I’m currently alternating between Paulo Coelho’s Like the Flowing River and Lisa Jewell’s Vince and Joy. I’m looking forward to reading Toast by Nigel Slater next. I like biographies and, until I started writing myself, read very little in the way of fiction for years.


Last book bought

Gordon Ramsey’s ‘Sunday Lunch’, yesterday in WHSmith. I didn’t mean to visit WHSmiths or buy books. It was an accident.


5 meaningful books

Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series was a biggie for me. I desperately wanted to be George. Best of all, Number 1 son enjoyed the Famous Five and I managed to find the entire series in the same 70s paperback covers that I’d read, complete with curling, brown, fusty pages (that smelt of old ladies).

‘Heidi’ by Johanna Spyrie. And ‘What Katy Did’ by Susan Coolridge. I liked stories about girls in strange places. I suppose that, as a very shy child living on the small rock of Jersey, everything seemed exciting. I was rarely naughty as a child which would explain my adoration of the ‘Just William’ books (Richmal Crompton) too.

 

One book that I’ve read and re-read many times since I was a teenager is ‘Roots‘ by Alex Haley. I guess it was one of the first adult books I tackled. It just struck me as really powerful and honest. Must read it again one day soon.

‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven‘ – Mitch Albom. Kind of conveyed lots of things that I believed but had never seen put into story form before. Everyone should read this book, I think.

Ok, you can have a good laugh now but, well, I am something of a closet hippy. And on that note, I’m going to round off this bizarre list with The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield). Yes. I really do believe in all that stuff. Yes. I am a total flake.

So now you know.

I’m going to tag… Betamum, La Que Sabe and Rebecca.


Another Life-Enhancing Hint of the Day June 29, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 15 comments

Alert the media! I have made a *sensational discovery: If you keep your perfume in your little bag of *blush* ladies’ accoutrements it will probably leak.

If a quarter bottle of Eau Dynamisante oozes quietly into your emergency Tampax, it is likely to set your loins alight in a most eye-watering way.

* I resisted using the word ’scent-sational’.  It wasn’t easy, as you can imagine.

 
 

(I’m sure I remember a time when this blog was about writing?)

Of Rebellious Rapture June 6, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal , 9 comments

I was marching off the day’s stress in the woods this evening when I chanced upon a huge, perky clump of foxgloves. Woo hoo, look at us, they shouted. So I did. No matter how many National Trust gardens and manicured lawns you see, there’s something intrinsically beautiful about wild flowers. Fragile but tenacious; unplanned but defiantly persistent.

 

I’m bored. Bored with being a suburban square of the expected. Perhaps I should be a little wilder? Become rampant. Unruly. I’m getting nowhere fast by being good and working hard.

Hell – there are no rules here: we’re trying to accomplish something.

Thomas Edison (1847 - 1931)

 


Lost Memories May 29, 2007

Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces , 8 comments

“Mum, I’m sorry I woke you up last night. You would only have worried that I hadn’t got back safely if I hadn’t. If it’s any consolation, we had a really good time and Jack says he still wants to marry you! In fact, all my friends reckon you’re the best Mum in the world. They’re wrong though. You’re the best Mum in the Universe.

All my love… ”

Tucked into the old, tatty, plastic wallet with this scrawled note are two photos: one of a man, in his late 60s, and another of two smiling schoolboys with goofy teeth and terrible hair. A typical school photo, obviously taken some time in the 1970s. There’s also a tiny, torn piece of yellowing newspaper which I unfold carefully - an obituary of a man: a father, a grandfather, a husband.

Someone has carried this little plastic wallet around for years. Years and years and years…

That little battered wallet of love and memories now sits in a box of lost property, abandoned in a tangle of odd gloves and sunglasses, with no way of identifying its owner.

I can’t bear to think how bereft that woman must feel without it. It really is too sad.