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Of Whizz-Bang Fizzle March 5, 2010

Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 15 comments

Ok, ok, I confess. The novel-writing has sort of ground to something of a halt.  I’ve been, ahem, a little distracted with what I laughingly call ‘real life’.  There has been rather a lot of it lately.  Work is ridiculously busy.  Tweed Clad Colleague mysteriously gets louder in direct proportion to workload.  I am wearing ear plugs and wondering whether people have forgotten there’s supposed to be a recession on?  Working 72 hours a day is not conducive to fabulous novelling you know.

Excuses excuses.  I know.  I have, however, managed to produce yet another short story.  I struggle and struggle with them though no one in my lovely writing group has laughed yet.  Well, not in a mean fashion.  All I need to do now is summon up the courage to start subbing them. Voices rumble in my head.  All aboard the nine-eleven fast train to Rejection City.  Mind the gap, you clumsy berk. Eek.  Editors should be like the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang child-catcher.  Not that my stories should be caged, or even tied up.  I’m just not convinced they’re ready to be free?  But I will.  Oh yes, I will for it is written on the blog.

Anyway, my novel is fermenting.  Festering.  Whatever.  This weekend will see a tumble of words.  No really, it will!  If not, you are permitted to chase me round Tescos with a pointy stick while I stuff weak platitudes into my trolley along with some Bicarb of Soda and a bunch of tulips.  The tulips are to make me happy (they will be purple) and the Bicarb of Soda is to sparkle up the words wot I have writted already.  I’m not sure they have the right flavour.  They don’t taste of string though, which is a good thing.  I’m just not sure what they should taste of?  Strong black coffee?  No… vanilla cheesecake?  Nope, too sweet… oh, I’ve got it.  Space Dust.  Sweet but bitter with a lingering fizzle on the tongue.  Yes, that will do nicely. Or Flying Saucers – the orange ones.  Ah, those were the days.

What d’you mean I haven’t told you about meeting Man from the Past?  What can I say?  It was better than a Wham bar.  Even better than Gold Nuggets bubble gum.  ‘Go easy on me on the blog,’ he pleaded.  This means he may read what I say.  I’m saying nothing.  First rule of theatre, darlings, always leave them wanting more.  Leave you wanting more, I mean.  Not him.  But actually… oh dear.  Perhaps it will another 22 years until we meet again.  (Him, not you.) I do hope not. *Blushes*

Must dash, she said, changing the subject.  My aubergines are griddled.  This is not a euphemism. What flavour will your day be today?

nothing to say

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