Of Snivelling Snotbuckets November 30, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Novel , 17 commentsS’funny. Well, depends on your definition of ‘funny’ I suppose. Anyway. When I started The Novel, I had this great big idea that music and art were going to feature really strongly as some sort of metaphor or catalyst. (Catalyst? No, I have no idea what I’m talking about either.) Somehow, though, it didn’t quite happen that way.
All that time ago, 90,000 words seemed like more words than I even knew. What on earth will I write about to fill in the 80,000 between beginning and cliched end? I thought. Admittedly, the tosh that I wrote meant that I got to know my characters better. But now, somehow, I’ve just hit 70% and it’s all happening. All on its very own. And I’m wondering how to cram all the good bits in before the finishing line? The huge swathes of tosh will have to be pruned with a machete and the good bits written instead. Gawd.
Things, serendipitously, are still clicking into place. I have been asked at the last minute to play with Cranbrook Symphony Orchestra in a concert tomorrow night. And they’re performing one of my favourite pieces of music. This spurred me on this morning to write a section of The Novel that is pivotal, bringing in all the things I wanted to include and drawing everything together. But writing it, while listening repeatedly to this, has made me cry so much that I’m now a quivering emotional wreck with a rosy red cheeks and stuffed up snozzle. See? A funny business, this writing lark.
Of Ticking Time November 13, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 18 commentsWell, having been signed up for a further five weeks in the no-longer-hellish hospital, I’m limping along with the novel. I am sooo determined to get the thing finished by the end of the year – if I don’t, I can see it slipping by the wayside and that’s not what I want at all.
I actually got up at 5.30 this morning to scrawl out some words. To be honest, it was the lure of the dog and his bladder-bursting running-up-and-down-the-stairs antics that dragged me out of bed, rather than any writerly compulsion but still. 600 words before brek’s not bad. I sort of like delirious dawn typing, huddled up in blankets while Venus blinks in at me.
Being a mathematical genius, I have calculated that, in order to get the last 30,000 or so words written by the end of the year, I will have to get up early quite a lot. Bugger.
I will though. I really will. Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to go that extra mile if you want something badly enough.
Watch this space. Yawn…
Of Panting & Underwired Words August 16, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Novel , 15 comments
It’s funny how things happen all at once or not at all. I wrote 1,000-odd words yesterday (as opposed to 1,000 odd words).
My inspiration? Pants. M&S boring pants and bras, thrust into my thoughts while buying school uniform online. Hmmm, I wondered, what sort of undies would my characters wear? Not M&S, that’s for sure. After a browse through Agent Provocateur, my thoughts were off like whippets. I changed a character’s name from Nicky to Rajni and, somehow, she just sounds far more like herself now. She is also headed for glamorous, sumptuous seduction which I’m rather looking forward to writing. Saucy, sexy opulence, mmmmm.
They do say that there’s a little bit of us, as writers, in our characters. So am I set for some delicious decadence? Nah.
I have another character. I get to be like her, slomping and sliding knee-deep in mud with a stinking dog. I secretly prefer that to a life of excess though. Shhh, don’t tell anyone will you?
East Sussex porn queens do it in wellies. Apparently.
Of Daily Desperation (and Doing Diddly-Squat) August 13, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 16 commentsOh my Good Lord. I’m having what could be referred to as One Of Them There Bad Days.
I got up at 5.30 to write. But the words were stuck. Completely and utterly stuck. I tried squirting them with WD40 but that didn’t help at all. That crescendo of agony is building, that feeling of having the answer on the tip of your tongue.
“Yes, yes, I know who you mean. Yes, the one with the freckle and one arm shorter than the other who bonked the piano teacher who lived in the house with the wonky chimney. Yes, I know, oh God, what-the-buggering-hell-is their-name?”
Erm, yeah, that kind of feeling. But, when words are stuck on one’s tongue, they tend to fall out eventually through a process of either logical convolution or alcoholic jollity. “Mark, Matthew, yes it definitely begins with an ‘M’… um… Martin… GOT IT! Captain Putridini.” Thank God. The torture is over.
But it doesn’t quite work that way with writing words. My fingers are paralysed. I sit here, for hours, trying to force the words out. They’re all in there, crammed in tightly up to my elbows. I can feel them, I know what they will look like when they finally burst out. But, really, tearing my own toenails out with a pair of rusty pliers would be easier today.
The new Writers’ & Artists’ Yearbook is running a blog competition ‘for anyone who blogs, or who would like to blog, about their writing experiences…’ I somehow doubt that these are the experiences they were hoping for. Oh dear. Where did I put the WD40?
Hairy Scary July 12, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Novel , 14 commentsOh dear. I have lost the plot. Or, to be more precise, I have come to the conclusion that I didn’t have a plot to start with and am now doing unspeakable things with colour-coded record cards and a massive pin board in order to construct a plot.
I don’t lurch often onto the road of sensible thinking.
My novel has had a life of its own so far. I’ve taken an ‘organic instinctive’ approach to the whole thing, i.e. making it up as I go along. But. I came down early to write this morning. And below, dear reader, is the total crap that crept from my (character’s) mind…
Of course, there are lots of good reasons not to be entangled with a bloke. Leg hair, for starters. Mine had got so long at one point that I’d contemplated plaiting it. There’s something really sigh-inducing about doing your legs, knowing that nobody cares what’s going on underneath your trousers. Armpit hair, however, is another matter entirely. At the beginning of the man-drought, I had let my armpit hair grow long for the first time since I was about 14. Soft armpits instead of scrapy ones were quite nice until I woke up one morning with a start, leaping out of bed with a screech. For some reason, as I’d opened my eyes, my brain had insisted that there was a massive spider on my pillow. Right near my mouth, which rested on my arm as it curled around my head. Yes, I know. It wasn’t a whopping spider, obviously. But waking up terrified by your own armpit hair isn’t good and back to prickly I went. 
WTF?
What’s in a Name? July 10, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Novel , 15 commentsPrompted by the ridiculously excellent See Jane Write, I have been giving thoughts aplenty to what the title of my novel will be. Yes, I realise that writing the bloomin thing would be much more productive but hey ho. It’s irritating me, having a file name that sounds trite and dull: the working title of Perfect Lives is definitely a bit yawn-inducing. But how to come up with a Devil Wears Prada-esque title?
And, on the matter of names, I accidentally ‘outed’ myself in my last post. Excellent. Mind you, I’d already cocked up by listing my blog somewhere bizarre with my full name. Sodding Google is so clever it can, apparently, put two and two together and come up with a smug way of obliterating all pretence of anonymity. Sigh.
So. Now I’m thinking that ‘Maltby’ doesn’t look too thrilling in print. Perhaps I will use my maiden name for writing. Hmmmmm. ‘Grihault’, I think, might look a bit more interesting on a book cover. But when people see it written down, they can’t say it. And if they can say it, they don’t know how to spell it. Could be a bit of a drawback.
But. If I use my unpronounceable surname and also give the novel an indecipherable title, it will explain why it hasn’t sold in its millions. Nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t written it yet. No, nothing to do with that at all.
Oh dear. Life is a tortuous conundrum, no?
Bravery vs. Lunacy May 26, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Novel , 8 commentsThis is probably a very bad idea… but… I have come over all brave. It won’t last.
I have added a new page… the first few thousand words of The Novel… it’s at the top… on its very own tab/page/thingummyjig. You can just click here if you get the urge to read it.
Eeeeeeeeek. Ok, the formatting has gone wonky. I know not why.
I am feeling a little shy.
My tummy has gone all swirly. Oh my goodness. What am I doing?
Perhaps I will delete it… soon… when the scaredy-ness takes over.
Feel free to comment/offer advice/shake your head sadly at the utter bloody simple minded rubbishness of it all…
Oh… crumbs…
Writerly Witterings May 24, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal, Novel , 9 commentsOoh, I’m feeling all popular today! And just a little bit important. The reason for such jollity? I have been tagged by Cally – and a writing tag, to boot! Crumbs, I have come over all ‘jolly Jilly Cooper’ for the occasion. In my usual mode of dimwittery, however, please do not be alarmed should I digress.
1. Do you outline?
Nope, not really. I have a vague idea of what’s going to happen but tend to take the organic, instinctive approach – aka making it up as I go along.
2. Do you write straight through a book, or do you sometimes tackle the scenes out of order?
Straight through. I make notes about scenes I want to include but, generally, I like the knock-on effect of events unfolding. Like domino toppling. Freefall. Parachute optional.
3. Do you prefer writing with a pen or using a computer?
Oh, Lord, my handwriting is appalling. Looks rather arty but is impossible to decipher. My scribbling would’ve been more effective than the Enigma machine, according to lovely bf. So, straight onto pc it goes. I can type 50 wpm which is a lot faster than my brain goes. Notebooks and scribbling only for poetry/notes/ideas/bits and bobs though.
4. Do you prefer writing in first person or third?
First, I think. Currently alternating as I can’t decide which works best. Not sure it matters, to be honest. I prefer to read work written in first person though. Seems cleverer, somehow! Maybe I’ll continue in first person then.
5. Do you listen to music while you write?
No, I can’t bear it. I like silence, stillness. My thoughts can be pretty riotous and that’s quite enough ta very much. Oddly, I quite like to hear the clatter of the keyboard. Audible proof that I’m writing, perhaps. I’ll sometimes pop on the music/radio that my characters are listening to though. They’re having a girlie dinner party at the mo and the main character is groaning inwardly at Katie Melua’s ‘pitiful childlike wailing’ (conservative hostess’s choice after Norah Jones). (Sorry Katie.)
6. How do you come up with the perfect names for your characters?
I make notes of names that I like, names that I loathe. I used to proofread school reports and found some amazing names. Fave: Dahlia. Chavviest: Shannelle. I had a customer once, terribly posh, whose surname was ‘Hardon’. But he was ex-army and always announced himself on the phone as ‘Major Hardon here’. Seriously. You couldn’t make it up, could you?!
Also, I can spend hours with this random name generator that gives the history and etymology on names from everywhere imaginable. A fabulous find. Was serious for a moment there. Hope you noticed.
7. When you’re writing, do you ever imagine your book as a television show or movie?
Absolutely! It always feels like quite a decadent, showy-off thing to do but I find it helps when writing dialogue in particular. I also have a soundtrack for each of my characters – the music they listen to is an important trait.
8. Have you ever had a character insist on doing something you really didn’t want him/her to do?
My characters are a willful lot! I find that they’re like rolling stones; I’ve created their general shape but they’re deciding for themselves which moss they pick up as they roll through the story. Secretly, I think that’s the best thing about writing. I love it when it all takes off of its own accord. As I’ve mentioned before, my characters have come out with lines that I’m actually stealing to use in ‘real life’. How bloomin cool is that?!?
9. Do you know how a book is going to end when you start it?
I think so. My characters might have other ideas though. Cheeky buggers.
10. Where do you write?
My study is the best place. It opens into the garden and, if I get up early enough, I can watch the sky change colour and hear the birds wake up as I tap away. I’ve tried writing on my laptop but it just seems to make me naughty. Plan: Sunday morning, laptop on sofa in sitting room, Something for the Weekend on TV. Relaxed writing. Words generally achieved? Absolutely sod all.
11. What do you do when you get writer’s block?
Writer’s block… hmmm… I just wait it out. Play out scenarios in my head until something goes ‘ping’. Reading helps. Actually, I find blogging a good kickstart. Oh, and I swear a lot, irritate lovely bf with speeches about how crap I am, demand wine and am a generally stroppy moo.
12. What size increments do you write in (either in terms of word count, or as a percentage of the book as a whole)?
I try to write at least 500 words in a go. My goes just need to be a bit more frequent! This snippet, for me, made writing a novel seem achievable:
500 words per day
= 3,500 words per week
= 14,000 words per month
Therefore
6 months to write an 85,000 word novel
13. How many different drafts did you write for your last project?
I’m hoping a second draft of the WIP will make it readable – I tend to edit as I go along. Yeah, lazy.
14. Have you ever changed a character’s name midway through a draft?
Only accidentally!
15. Do you let anyone read your book while you’re working on it, or do you wait until you’ve completed a draft before letting someone else see it?
I can’t bear the thought of it. Some of my work pals have read the first 2,500 words of the WIP but I found it mortifying. However, my boss laughed so loud in the staff room at one point, other people wanted to read it too, eeeeek!
16. What do you do to celebrate when you finish a draft?
I’ll let you know when I get there. Am hoping for a huge champagne-fuelled shopping spree. I will clearly be both rich and thin in 67,000 words time!
17. One project at a time, or multiple projects at once?
One at a time is quite enough – my temptation to tackle other things (short stories, articles, learning French, getting a new job) is generally due to procrastination.
18. Do your books grow or shrink in revision?
I plan to hack. Superfluous words suck. If in doubt, chop ‘em out!
19. Do you have any writing or critique partners?
Lovely bf is my chief critic and my sister was guinea pig when I was doing the OU Creative Writing course. Reasons: Little sis lives in Holland so cannot be wrestled during brutal honesty. Lovely bf is used to being clubbed round the head with a frying pan following ‘helpful advice’.
20. Do you prefer drafting or revising?
Revising is funky – sometimes I read a bit that I think is really good but can’t remember writing it at all. ‘How did I think of that?’ I chortle quietly, rocking in the corner… Writing can really make you go a little peculiar…
