Existential Pickle May 21, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 7commentsLiz has been posting profiles of the novel racers recently. It’s fascinating how people come across differently somewhere other than their own blog or website.
As for writing my own profile, that seemed an unnecessarily daunting task. Which of my roles should I adopt? The Retail Hell persona where I am “always upbeat, always capable, funny, intelligent”? Or the weary, bedraggled, never-quite-in-control ninny who gets into the car after work, desperate to get home for a quick weeping session and cup of industrial tea before the onset of teenage torture and household chores, dog poo and exploding cookers. Novel Racers – oh yes! I’m supposed to be a writer too. So, do I don the ‘I can do it and do it I will’ technicolour dreamcoat. Or the black mantle that conveys to the world that my words are trite, dull and aimlessly going nowhere but the bin?
“I don’t why you’re bothering with all that,’ chips my mother. Lovely. I might not pick her as a guinea pig reader then.
My novel characters are having a huge discussion about which of the others around the dinner table they’d like to swap lives with for a week – it’s really amazing that the characters themselves are throwing up insights into each other that I, as their creator, hadn’t even noticed.
And me, who would I be if I could swap for a while? I don’t know, to be honest. I’d quite like to have a go at being the me I have pencilled in for the future, the one I always thought I’d be but haven’t quite managed yet. You know, just to see if I’ll be any good at it.
Rumpy-Pumpy and Big Choppers May 6, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 15commentsOk. So I’m thinking about sex. Not sex for me, you understand. How rude! No, I’m thinking about sex for my characters. It goes without saying that there’s bound to be some naked wriggling at some point. The trouble is, when will it happen? And how? And with who?
I feel like a letch, a perv… as if I’m constantly waiting for the right time to get their clothes off. Eek!
Writing Rule of the Week: Don’t ever imagine your mother reading your novel.
***
On anther note, how come the boy with the huge smile got voted out of Joseph last night? His teeth are obscenely ginormous but I kind of liked him? It should have been the orange cruise singer or the bin man, surely?
Of Ongoing Obscurity. April 28, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 16commentsI have had a worrying thought. Success/notoriety/fame can be achieved by only a small percentage of people, right? Now, my problem is this: At school, I used to sit next to Graeme le Saux in Geography. What if he has selfishly taken my portion of celebrity and used it all up himself? We can’t all be rich and famous from one classroom, can we? Sigh. I am so doomed.
To compound my woes, I am still car-less. According to my bastardly insurance company, I must now register my non-existent car in the UK before they will process my claim. I am perhaps being typically dimwitted but WHAT?!?!? They have taken my car and heartlessly sold off its body parts, no doubt. And now I have to register it? Even though it doesn’t exist anymore? REALLY?? Gawd.
I don’t think I like insurance men. They wear cheap, shiny suits and anoraks. They think I can live in the middle o’ nowhere with only a pogo stick and a couple of carrier bags in which to transport my children. No, I don’t like them one little bit.
In writing news, I am re-writing. Sigh. I could throttle my characters - instead of doing as they’re told, they keep getting ideas above their station, pushing themselves forward with their chests puffed out. So, I’m abandoning their first-person narratives for a while and re-writing in third person. This, I am hoping, will be my metaphorical whip. The fact that I seem able only to crack the whip at people who don’t actually exist is a little pathetic, don’t you think?
Oh my. I am truly having A Bad Week.
Snippety Snip April 3, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 7commentsCrikey! Kate has finished the first draft of her novel which is making me feel rather ashamed of myself.
So. Serious words to be written today. I was going to say that I am worrying too much about the words I actually have written being worthy but the upshot being that there won’t be too much editing to do. I am clearly talking utter twaddle.
Tetleys Extra-Strong brewing for its obligatory seven minutes, I scoured the cupboards for hangover-curing food. A bendy carrot and some syrup. A square of chocolate. A bottle of rum. A box of soggy Cheerios. I could dip the carrot in the syrup, I thought. Then sprinkle the Cheerios over it and roast it. But it would probably come out of the oven looking a shrivelled, warty willy. I didn’t think even mad Nigel Slater would get excited over that.
Utter twaddle doesn’t cover it really. This lot is going to need far more than a subtle pruning.
Inspiration March 20, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 11commentsHow odd. I keep getting stuck. Whenever I try to write my novel, or even make notes, my brain seizes, my thoughts stutter, my fingers become arthritic or my pen groans in its death-like grip.
I couldn’t figure out what my character’s problem was. I am an idiot. (Well, yes, we knew that already.) The character, of course, knew what her problem was all along; I just wasn’t listening. It’s kind of groovy when the characters take themselves off on a tangent. Or a tangerine. Or whatever.
A new idea has bubbled up. Fermented. It’s going to take a lot of research that I hadn’t considered. But it’s sort of there. I already know about it, have seen it, experienced it. I just didn’t realise that it should go into The Novel.
Two hours ago, I was almost in tears, planning to give the whole thing up as a bad job. A waste of time. But. Now the words are flowing.
I can’t tell you what it is. I’d have to kill you. Obviously. I’ve given you a tiny clue though. ‘Cos I like you.
I’m having a little drink now. As a celebration research. Dedicated, see?
Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Stuck on the Stepping Stones March 4, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel , 21comments
It’s funny. Being stuck, I mean. I hadn’t even realised I was stuck. I forget that I’m even on the stepping stones sometimes. Right in the middle, I am. I must have been here a while because, when I turned round yesterday, everything behind me seemed different. I’m bored with carefully stepping from stone to stone. I just want to close my eyes and WHOOSH to the other side.
Hmmm. I spent all day yesterday searching for a new job. But the only truly suitable jobs were, for one reason or another, utterly unsuitable. Sigh. I even had a moment of grandiose lunacy and thought I might get a job in London. I would wear high heels and swoosh my flossy hair and come back home in the dark feeling terribly successful. But 65 miles is quite a long way on the back of a tortoise. So maybe not.
What I really want, of course, is to be a Proper Writer. Novels. Magazine articles. In France. I want to walk barefoot over my dewy grass with my Café au Lait and write all day and grow raspberries and be thin. It’s not much to ask is it?
I just can’t figure out how the next stepping stone or the one after that is taking me in the right direction. I know it’s there. But I seem to have lost the map. And the plot. ‘Yoo hoo New Life, here I am, come and get me…‘
Write down your goals, it says in my irritating-but-probably-quite-sensible book Get a Life, You Loser.
1. Become Proper Writer.
2. Get thin.
Yes. I feel much better for that. Watch this space.
WHOOSH!
La la la January 26, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel, Writing Bits , add a commentMusic, then. It’s no secret that I love it. I tootle the floot in a chamber orchestra. I’m not bad. I can’t play my guitar. I hum rubbish songs rubbishly. No, really , it’s true. My children say I should try to wipe anything Green Day related from my tiny Mitzy mind. The Itsy Bitsy Mitzy mind. To quote, in fact. Beasts.
In the Novel Racers catch-up, Jane mentions the way she uses music to get emotion across in her writing.
My ongoing urge about using music as part of my novel had a massive surge a couple of weeks ago. In fact, it surged so greatly, I couldn’t even talk about it.
But. It has worked. I wanted (and, erm, yes, still want!) to use music in my novel for various reasons. It’s cool enough to quote the likes of Norah Jones and other ‘household names’. But I wanted to include the other stuff. Real stuff. Real vs airbrushed fake perfection. So I emailed Kat Flint. Cos she’s cool. And her music is ace. And she never gives up. I felt a fool. A spaz. A mental stalking lunatic.
And then she emailed back. (You can sing along here if you like!)
‘Ooh, I’ve never made a literary cameo appearance before,’ she said. ‘Go ahead.’
What a girl, eh? How exciting. There’s so much I could do with it. It’s just making the most of it now. A protégée to be encouraged. To tease and tweak. Yeah baby.
Inspiration January 7, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal, Novel , add a commentI’m becoming more and more excited about the concept of music as metaphor in The Novel.
Apart from anything else, it’s a great excuse to play about and find lots of new stuff to complement the existing ’soundtrack’ of said writerly meanderings. Oddly, as I write, I do almost see the screenplay of The Novel in front of me. I choose the locations, the songs, the clothes - perhaps it’s a premonition? Think big - why not?
Rosie Brown’s Clocks and Clouds is today’s inspiration. Everyone should own this. Go on. Treat yourself. Or just buy this track. Aural heaven.
