Marvellous meme (possible procrastination) June 28, 2008
Posted by Jen in : Writing Bits , 23 commentsYay, I’ve been tagged by JJ and Karen and, since I’m so boring in the week, have been saving it for a Saturday to be boring.
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Living in Jersey, kids aged 4 and nearly 2. Probably tearing my hair out. Worked very briefly as a school secretary in the most deprived catchment area on the rock (yes, there are people in Jersey who have no money and/or take drugs just like non-tax havens). Went home and cried for half the kids and decided having my own tiddlie crying for me while I was out earning a few pennies wasn’t worth it. Watched Tellytubbies instead which made me who I am today. I knew there was something to blame for it.
Five things on your to-do list for today:
Go into Tunbridge Wells for pampering goodies and lazy M&S food.
Go for run to earn vino & lazy food calories.
Zoom through remaining photography coursework and panic that deadline for end-of-course portfolio is Tuesday week.
Start freewriting again. Even 15 mins a day would make a difference.
Plough through remaining third of The Novel and make notes ready for morning of re-writing tomorrow.
What are three of your bad habits?
Repeating myself like a daffy old dear
Pulling my hair when I’m tired or stressed
Repeating myself like a daffy old dear
What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Buy a house somewhere near where I live already… nothing flashy. Something like this perhaps. A round kitchen and round library would be coolio. And a house in France, around the La Rochelle area because I love their diddy airport. Buy a house in Jersey for Mum (great investment too - the house, not my mother) and give a bit to those I love who would make the most of it. And I’d write and take photographs and open a little gallery so that talented people who haven’t got money/contacts/the opportunity to go to college could have a chance.
What are some snacks you enjoy?
Wine. That’s a snack, right?
Green & Blacks Butterscotch Chocolate
Tyrells salt and vinegar crisps
What were the last five books you read?
Words from a Glass Bubble by Vanessa Gebbie (dipping in and out. Too good for half asleep reading)
Your’re Not the Only One (did I mention that I’m in this?)
Teenagers - What Every Parent Has to Know by Rob Parsons
The Book of Digital Photography by Chris George
The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs (haven’t decided whether I’m gong to get into this or not. Four sentences a night before I nod off doesn’t help)
What are five jobs you have had?
Chamber maid at hotel for disabled in Jersey. How many wet beds did I change as a 16-year-old?
Dental nurse (top line: “you might feel a bit of a prick”)
Robot type person at merchant bank in Jersey. Boring as anything. Abandoned good job with money to be
Director’s Assistant at Jersey Arts Centre - pretty cool until I got sacked for being pregnant
PA/Secretary type person at chickens/llamas/rural wotsit (current)
Five places that you have lived?
Jersey
Norf of Engerland (too young to remember and no remnant accent)
Jersey again (am a bit boring really)
Crouch End in North London (known as Couch End as full of psychotherapists)
Jersey again (a pattern? You think so?)
Teeny tiny village in East Sussex which I love and where I will stay until I run away to France (when I am a billionaire and respected writer and also not too bad at taking photos)
Who hasn’t done this then? Hullaballooooo? Jumbly? Nez?
Right… it’s nearly lunchtime. Shopping done. Rest of list to tackle. Luckily I didn’t write down any domestic duties so I won’t be able to do those now. The Power of The List cannot be ignored.
War Child - and a lack of alliteration (almost) June 9, 2008
Posted by Jen in : War Child, Writing Bits , 29 commentsWar Child is an international charity that works with children affected by war in Afghanistan, Iraq, Democratic Republic of Congo and Uganda. They work with former child soldiers, children in prison and children living and working on the streets to give them support, protection and opportunities.
Every minute of every day, three children die as a result of war. That’s quite a lot, even if you can’t do maths. Children, fighting. Dying. Children just like ours.
What can you do? You can help raise the funds they desperately need. You can buy a book, here, where half the cost (or 10 Great British pounds if you buy the download) will go direct to War Child. You’ll be Doing Good and you also get an ace book to read.
You’re Not the Only One is a collection of previously unpublished intimate and personal stories from bloggers all over the world, reflecting the camaraderie of blogging and promoting great writing.
You even get to read a major misery-fest by me. But there are pieces by all sorts of fab and groovy writers so don’t let that put you off. (I’m in a book! I’m in a book! Oh dear, sorry about that.)
Peach has tackled a mountain of a job and produced something warm and worthwhile. Not only that, but it’s boosted my confidence when everything I had was sagging. I’m in a book! Wow! Maybe I really can write.
So what are you waiting for? Get your credit card out. Click HERE. Oh go on, it might make you feel nice.
Trying to be Normal March 12, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Writing Bits , 19 commentsOh, balls. In fact, if you’ll indulge and excuse me, balls and buggeration. Aaarrghh! Double Arrrghhh! AAARRGHHHH!
Fed up with my job, I am. I do a good job. Despite evidence to the contrary (i.e. all previous posts) I am an intelligent person. I compose kick-arse letters to reclaim money from bastard customers who come into the store, buy a barrow-load of designer gear with a cheque which they promptly stop before closing their account. I co-ordinate the training of 200+ staff. I sort out everyone’s problems. I keep everyone happy. I somehow convince people that Retail Hell is a fantastic place to work. I do all this for £6.00 an hour. I am clearly mental.
So. Tomorrow, or today if you’re reading this tomorrow (oh, are you trying to complicate things?) I am going to Interviews. I am going to pretend to be normal. This is, as you can imagine, quite a strain. I loathe interviews.
Scary Interviewer-type scary person: Can you type very fast?
Spazzy Me: Oh, yes. I am very marvelous indeed. Apart from my bunch of fat sausage-like fingers which cannot type at all at this moment in time. Really, I am much less sausage-like on a Wednesday.
Scary, standing-up-type person: Do you often fall over?
On-the-floor me: No, I am quite often upright. When I have fooled you into thinking that I am normal, I will not wear high heels and contact lenses and try to look intelligent all at the same time.
Oh, fuck-a-duck. Wish me luck.
I Am Truly Tragic February 13, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Writing Bits , 5 commentsIs it just me?
I mean, I know I should get out more and all that. But, well, I just think this is the funniest thing I’ve seen for ages? Oh go on, tell me it’s not just me…
Pass the pen-thils someone. Woo!
I Am Free February 12, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Writing Bits , 4 commentsMy windscreen-wipers are cured! Hurrah and hurray! And I am cured, for free. I quote:
Feeble Me: ‘Oh, is my poor car really working properly again?’
Grunting Mechanic: ‘Ugh, yeah.’
Effusive Me: ‘Oh, you are such a star - I thought I would have to stay in until summer.’
Grunting Mechanic: ‘Ugh.’ (Smiled a bit at this point. Could have been wind though.)
Penniless Me: ‘Oh, in all the stress, I forgot my purse. Could you possibly add it on to its next service?’
Weak Mechanic: ‘Ugh. Don’t worry. Few quid. Drink in pub. Ugh.’
Result. Joy. Freedom. I am free. Free to… um… yeah. Whatever.
Of winter loveliness February 8, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal, Writing Bits , 5 comments
Guess who’s been out to play with her camera in the snow?
It’s almost unbearably beautiful outside. Sometimes, just sometimes, a moment is so perfect, so still, that even breathing would vandalise it.
Am calm now. Shhhhhhhh…
Ok then: 5 Things January 30, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Bits and Pieces, Journal, Writing Bits , 6 commentsI was tagged recently to write five things that people don’t (generally) know about me. So, here you go:
I have quite skinny legs - similar, in fact, to my dad’s sparrow legs and string-width ankles. As soon as I get back from work, I rip off my suit and put on black thermal pj bottoms and one of lovely bf’s massive, massive fleeces. They come down to my knees. My skinny, drainpipe pyjama’d knees. I therefore look like Max Wall in drag. Gorgeous, I tell you.
Um… I applied for a job in a swanky law firm once. They called my then boss for a reference. He had been out for something of a liquid lunch. His reference?
‘Oh, I can’t speak highly enough of her,’ he said. ‘She has great tits and she can really hold her drink.’
Strangely enough, I didn’t get the job.
I am a secret Emmerdale watcher. I love it. I even record it. Sad, I know. I don’t watch stuff like Harry Hill’s TV Burp though. Oh, ok, I do. Bugger, you caught me out.
What else? Oh, in the privacy of my own home, I drink sherry. Maiden-aunt type sherry - Harvey’s Bristol Cream, in fact. I know. The shame. Part of my drinking addiction is due to confession Number 5, which follows hereunder.
Lovely bf is not lovely at all. He is a geek, a freak and, in his most recent display of splendour, a dancing coat hanger. Evidence below. Please, believe me, I had no idea when I started going out with him. You DO believe me, don’t you??
La la la January 26, 2007
Posted by Jen in : Journal, Novel, Writing Bits , add a commentMusic, then. It’s no secret that I love it. I tootle the floot in a chamber orchestra. I’m not bad. I can’t play my guitar. I hum rubbish songs rubbishly. No, really , it’s true. My children say I should try to wipe anything Green Day related from my tiny Mitzy mind. The Itsy Bitsy Mitzy mind. To quote, in fact. Beasts.
In the Novel Racers catch-up, Jane mentions the way she uses music to get emotion across in her writing.
My ongoing urge about using music as part of my novel had a massive surge a couple of weeks ago. In fact, it surged so greatly, I couldn’t even talk about it.
But. It has worked. I wanted (and, erm, yes, still want!) to use music in my novel for various reasons. It’s cool enough to quote the likes of Norah Jones and other ‘household names’. But I wanted to include the other stuff. Real stuff. Real vs airbrushed fake perfection. So I emailed Kat Flint. Cos she’s cool. And her music is ace. And she never gives up. I felt a fool. A spaz. A mental stalking lunatic.
And then she emailed back. (You can sing along here if you like!)
‘Ooh, I’ve never made a literary cameo appearance before,’ she said. ‘Go ahead.’
What a girl, eh? How exciting. There’s so much I could do with it. It’s just making the most of it now. A protégée to be encouraged. To tease and tweak. Yeah baby.
